3 Months

Wow. That went by in the blink of an eye.

Elliot turned 3 months yesterday even though I swear it was just a few days ago that we brought him home from the hospital.  And this is my last week of being home with him before I return to the office starting next Monday.  I stupidly thought it would be easier this time. That since I've gotten used to dropping Andrew off every morning that it wouldn't bother me as much to hand Elliot off, too.

Yeah, I was wrong.

Every time I am rocking him to put him down for his nap I can't help but think about how I won't get to do that next week.  How it will be Andrea who gets to hear is adorable baby gurgles and see his sweet smile all day. How I won't get to watch him playing on the playmat or chewing his little hands while grinning at me.

Every time I think about these things I tear up.  I know he will be in good hands. Andrea and Marc have done a phenomenal job with Andrew- he's learned so much and is so smart.  Even though I am completely confident that he will be well taken care of, it doesn't make it any easier.

Sigh.

I love these kids so much that it hurts sometimes.  My fears of not being able to love Elliot as much as Andrew have been completely unfounded.  He is a sweet baby and I can't help but smile every time I look at his chubby little cheeks. He's definitely a different baby than Andrew was, though. Andrew was pretty laid back about bedtime, but Elliot demands to be put to bed by 8:00.  Andrew was sleeping 11-12 hours at night consistently at this point, but Elliot's nighttime sleep ranges from 6 to 11 hours on any given night.  I think Andrew was a fussier baby than Elliot is, though.  As long as he isn't tired or hungry he is a pretty laid back baby.  He's also a very patient baby:

This weekend Andrew was trying to pick him up and said he wanted to hold him.  The look on Elliot's face in that video is priceless and I crack up every time I watch it.  It makes me look forward to when he is bigger and able to actually play with Andrew (but I don't want that day to come too soon - I need him to be my baby a while longer).

I don't know how big Elliot is since he hasn't been to the pedi in a month, but he's definitely filling out.  I have absolutely no fears about him not growing - he's plumped up nicely.  He's mostly wearing 3 month or 3-6 month clothes. I had to buy some more long sleeved onesies since he is the opposite season as Andrew so I didn't have many.  He's been living in little footie sleepers the last few weeks.  I'm not sure how much he eats when he nurses, but he will eat a 5 oz bottle before bedtime most nights.  Oh, and I hit my goal of 200 oz in the freezer yesterday, so I'm pretty happy about that.

As for me, I'm not shrinking, either. I'm holding steady at 10-12 lbs to lose. I have a feeling after I start back to the office it might be a little easier to take some weight off since I won't have constant access to snacks. Plus I'll be walking up and down the stairs there to take my pumped milk all the way down to the fridge downstairs (I am SO not looking forward to pumping at work.  13 weeks down and 39 to go to get to one year).  I've started running some, but my left hip kills me afterward. I don't know if that will go away with time or if my hips are permanently jacked up after pushing out two kids.  Only time will tell.  At least it's cold outside and I don't have to worry about fitting into a swimsuit for another 5 or 6 months.  I just really need to tone up and tighten some stuff up. And I know I won't lose a couple of those pounds until I'm done breastfeeding because those pounds are pretty much right there in my bra.

Ignore my hair, I didn't feel like beautifying myself this morning.

So there we are at 3 months. It's been more amazing than I had even imagined and I know it's only going to get better  :)