Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Bad Timing (and I Suck)

On Saturday evening my mom came down to babysit the munchkin so J and I could go to my company Christmas party. Yay date night!

Anyway, about 30 minutes after getting here my mom informed me that my grandma will be dying this week. Yep - that bluntly.  For a little background, my grandma has been in and out of hospitals for the last 6 years. New years 2006 my dad drove up there (my grandparents are still in PA) to find my grandpap sitting at the kitchen table writing out her obituary.  Obviously he didn't need it then. Or the next dozen or so times that she has gone to the hospital. So when my mom said she's dying this week I didn't take it overly seriously.

It turns out this might actually be it, though. She is out of the hospital and back home with hospice care to make her comfortable.  I'm sad because it's always sad when someone dies, but to be honest it is a little bit of a relief.  She hasn't really been "living" for years, she has been simply existing. My grandparents need to be in a nursing home or assisted living, they are not able to take care of themselves, but they have refused. It has been hard of my dad and his sisters and has caused quite a bit of tension in relationships that were never that great (my dad and his sisters have never been very close).  So now it appears that the end is near for real.

That brings on the part about bad timing and me sucking.  J and I are flying to Dallas this weekend for the Cowboys/Steelers game.  This was planned three months ago and $1200 has already been spent between plane tickets, game tickets and hotel.  We leave Saturday and get back on Monday.  So what happens if my grandma passes away in the next couple days?

Yesterday my mom sent me a message saying she and my dad had been discussing it and that I am NOT to cancel my trip.  I said if something happens and I miss a funeral I am going to be judged. Hard.  Her response was that my dad is the only one who matters and he is saying I should go.  Ugh.

Oh, and my parents were the ones that were supposed to watch Andrew this weekend, which was perfect since we are flying out of Myrtle Beach because it was half as expensive as flying out of Charleston.  Now my dad is leaving today to drive up to Pittsburgh and if she does pass my mom will go up for the funeral.  We have my mother-in-law on hold as a backup and she can come down if needed.

Yes, I suck.  I'm thinking about how this is going to affect our plans instead of crying about my dying grandmother.  Don't get me wrong, I am sad that she is dying, but the grandma I grew up with died long ago. I'm most sad about how this is going to affect my dad.

Ok, enough rambling.  Time for me to get back to sucking as a human...


  1. Your grandma would want you to go on your trip and enjoy life.

    1. Thank you. She barely knew who I was last time I saw her so I don't think she'll notice me missing at her bedside, but I feel guilty.