On Saturday I needed to go to Wal-mart to pick up some things, so I needed to get ready. J was out cycling so I had Andrew upstairs with me. I plugged in my curling iron in the bathroom and ran to grab clothes to change into. In a split second Andrew was in the bathroom and I heard him scream.
My heart sank as I ran in and saw him standing there, curling iron on the ground and his little hand in his mouth. I tossed the curling iron back up on the counter, scooped him up, carried him into the bedroom and cuddled him to me. He was clinging to me, sobbing. And in that instant I felt like the absolute worst mommy in the world.
How could I be so careless? He's never tried to grab it off the counter before and I got complacent.
I wrapped some ice in a washcloth and was able to get it on his little hand a few times. Once he finally let me get a look I could see an angry red mark on the side of his palm between his thumb and index finger. He stopped crying, but was still clinging to me with his head on my shoulder. We sat there for 15 minutes, me gently rocking him and telling him I was sorry for letting him get hurt.
After he was calm I hurried up and got ready, making sure the cord was nowhere in his reach. We went back downstairs and he walked up to me, held up his little hand and said "I sorry.". My heart broke a little more.
I know it could have been much worse and in the grand scheme of things it isn't as bad as it feels to me. But seeing my little guy with tears rolling down his cheeks and knowing that it was something that I could have prevented was hard. I know I can't protect him from everything and I know he is going to have many more bumps, bruises and boo boos before he's grown (and even after). It was a hard lesson for both of us, but hopefully we both learned something.
Seeing tears of pain on this sweet face isn't something that I want to experience again any time soon.
This is one of my biggest fears! Don't worry, you're not a bad mommy and you know it. One time James threw himself out of his crib (that was the end of the crib, btw) and I felt extra awful about it because I had put him in there so that I could finish what I was doing. I needed 2 minutes, and he was begging to be right under my feet. When I heard the thud and the following scream, I'm sure what I felt was similar to how you feel. Things will happen, as you know, but it IS hard not to really beat ourselves up.
ReplyDeleteIt's just so hard to see them hurting from something that was avoidable. Luckily he hasn't launched himself out of the crib yet, but I am sure it's coming. I'm just happy I could comfort him with cuddles and kisses and no doctor visit was needed.
Deleteaww poor babe.
ReplyDelete