This morning J's mom left to go back home to Charlotte. She had been here for the past three weeks helping out with Elliot. I know a lot of people have tense relationships with in-laws, and it's true that mine can sometimes drive me absolutely crazy, but I really cannot sing her praises enough in this instance. Her help, especially at night, has been invaluable. I actually feel like a human being because I've been able to get a decent amount of sleep the last few nights. I'm pretty sure all of that will be coming to an end.
I'm not sure if that is why I've been such an emotional mess this morning or not. All I know is when I was talking to her this morning as she was packing up her stuff I kept tearing up. And once they left I was a bawling mess.
I think it's because I am now terrified about handling all of this on my own. I know I've done it before and we made it through this period with Andrew. I'm not sure why I'm so scared this time. Probably because I also have to handle Andrew - a two and a half year old ball of energy that demands attention almost constantly. It's not like I'm doing it alone or anything. J is a wonderful father and we are in this together. We just need to get ourselves into a routine and get settled.
I have two weeks left of maternity leave (yeah, that's it and it SUCKS), but I still have 10 weeks until I will be going back to the office. Hopefully that gives me plenty of time to get a morning routine down so that when I DO have to get both kids out the door it won't be such a mess.
But I don't want to think about that right now, because it stresses me out. Instead I just want to enjoy the time I have left when I can just sit and watch this precious baby and not have to worry about work: