In my last post I was lamenting the about the lack of sleep I've been getting lately. It's hard not to complain when your brain feels like mush and you're walking around in a fuzzy haze, not knowing which way is up. It has been a rough couple weeks in our house.
It pains me to even put this in writing, but there were times when I was up for the third time at night when I would let the thought creep into my head that things were so much easier when Andrew was our only responsibility. How we had everything under control back then (yes, I have selective memories!) and that things are so much harder now. As soon as I finished the thought I instantly regretted it and would burst into tears.
No matter how hard things have been with the lack of sleep and the fussy baby who doesn't want to nap or be left on his own for more than a few minutes, I can't picture life without him. Yes, it used to be easier to go out to dinner (except the time Andrew lost his mind right as we were being seated and we had to leave before even ordering food) or to go do something in the evening and not have to worry about our baby that turns into a pumpkin at 7:00. Yes, I didn't used to stress out quite so much on the first of the month when I have to write a check for daycare that's more than our mortgage payment. And yes, I used to at least have a little free time in the evenings where I wasn't rushing around to get things ready for the next day. Even with all those things, I would not trade this little guy:
for anything in the world.
So yeah, I'm tired, more broke and a little more frazzled than I was at this time last year, but when I look over and see this:
It is all so worth it.