How far we've come

I had some feedback recently from a new parent (Hi Rob!) and it compelled me to go back and read some of my posts from the early days.  Back when we had first brought Andrew home from the hospital and we were navigating this new world of parenthood.

Not that I feel that we are experts by any means, but I really feel like we have come a long way over that past 8 months.

I think back to my early meltdowns.  The nights when he had me up every couple hours and kept me up for an hour or two at a time. Now that he isn't doing that anymore - and is back to a blissful 10+ hours a night - I really did forget how that felt.  The zombie-like state I was in for the first 8 weeks or so really is a distant memory.  I always thought people were full of crap when they would say that you forget, but I honestly did.

And reading about how it would take me three hours just to get out of the house to take a walk now seems comical.  I was so nervous about going anywhere if he was the least bit fussy.  Back then I was still having trouble figuring out what he was crying about and what I needed to do to appease him.  I never wanted to be the mom with the shrieking infant when I went anywhere so I was afraid to go places.  Now I know that he will most likely zonk out in the car seat on the way to whatever my destination is, and the world won't end if he fusses a little bit in the middle of Target.

Lastly, I think back to me worrying that we weren't doing things "right".  I would read message boards and hear about how everyone else was doing things one way and we were doing them completely different.  I always had the fears that I was screwing up. That I wasn't good at this.

Luckily I also had a husband who could comfort me and help me to see that we were doing just fine.  We had a happy and healthy baby and that was all that mattered.

And he was right.

Now I can look at my son's sweet face and just smile because I know that we are doing alright. We have an amazing little guy who is the absolute light of my life (our lives).  Even with all my previous doubts about my abilities as a mom I now know that I was meant to be his mother.  No matter what, that will always be my most important job and I would not trade it for anything.