Up until this past weekend I've felt like even though I am nowhere near perfect, that I've been doing a pretty darn good job at this mom thing. Well, now I'm starting to wonder - am I?
In my heart I know I need to stop comparing myself to other moms and my child to other children. We're all different and we're going to do things our own way. I know that and I need to accept that. And I thought I had.
Then I had lunch with my sister.
The funny thing is that she's not even a mom. She's a pediatrician, though, so I value her opinion and tips. When I shared my excitement over the fact that Andrew is walking now she confessed that she was a little concerned that it took him so long. She pointed out that it's natural for first kids to be carried a lot and that can sometimes delay them walking. I went from being excited to feeling defeated in about 0.025 seconds. Then we were talking about his talking - or lack thereof - and I felt even worse. She asked if we are reading with him. I told her that we are, but it's hard since all he wants to do it rips the book out of our hands and flip pages. I point out what the pictures are, though, and he seems to like that. I felt like I was talking to him a lot, but she mentioned that we need to not just tell him things, but to ask him questions. That just giving him something when he points and makes noise isn't teaching him how to talk.
So yeah, I went from feeling like I am doing a pretty good job as a mom to feeling like I'm screwing everything up. Like it's my fault that I took my kid to almost 17 months to walk because I carried him too much. Like it's my fault that he only has a handful of words at 17 months because I don't talk to him the right way. And of course I always feel like it's my fault that I can't get him to eat real food.
Just when I feel like we're doing great I get the wind taken out of my sails. I know I'm not perfect, but am I really as inadequate as I am feeling right now? I can only pray that Andrew doesn't think so...