I'm in denial about how far along I am. To be honest I am freaking the eff out that I am already 21 weeks. I've started having the "What the hell were we thinking??" thoughts again, and I feel guilty about that. Two kids just seems like a really big deal. I'm sure I was scared like this when I was pregnant with Andrew, too, but it seems scarier with two kids. I guess it's because I already feel like I have very minimal free time and soon it will be non-existent.
I know I can help this by preparing and asking for more help, but I suck at asking for help. And really I feel like I should have to ask J for help, he should just DO things. But that's my issue and it's one that will have to be dealt with so I don't go crazy once 2.0 is here.
Tell me that we weren't crazy for deciding to have a second child. Tell me we'll be ok and that everything will fall into place once he's here. Even if it's a big lie ;)
Anyway, enough of my whining. On to this week.
How far along? 21w0d and the size of a pomegranate. According to my little app he's ~10.5 inches and 12.7 ounces. According to my A/S he is ~15 ounces. Oh, and his digestive system is working and he's already producing meconium. Eww.
Weight loss/gain: +16 lbs. I'm having a very hard time with this. My self esteem is kind of in the toilet this week and I just feel fat. I know I need to get over it and it's all for a good cause, but I don't feel good about it.
Maternity clothes: I have started wearing some of my maternity work pants because my regular ones don't have much give and were getting really uncomfortable. I still have a few pairs I can wear, though. I'm wearing maternity jeans today but am still wearing regular shirts.
Symptoms: The lovely constipation that I get to deal with for 9 months.
Sex (of baby): It's a BOY!!!
Name: Not one bit of progress on this. Maybe we'll talk about it this week?
Sleep: Sleeping well for the most part. Last night was rough, but that was due to Andrew. I'm tired today.
Best moment this week? Finally getting to see our little guy again at the anatomy scan on Tuesday. It seems like it had been forever since we had a visual and it was great to get to see him looking like a baby.
Movement: Due to another anterior placenta I'm not feeling a ton of movement, but it's there. Still mostly down low below my belly button.
Food cravings: I just always want to eat (which isn't helping the weight gain). I'm trying to snack on fruits and veggies instead of candy and sweets.
Belly button in or out? In
What I miss? Feeling good about myself.
What I'm looking forward to? Nothing else really big coming up. I'm thinking of taking Andrew to the aquarium tomorrow since the weather is supposed to be iffy, so I'm looking forward to that.
Milestones: I don't know - 21 weeks?
What I'm nervous about: It's not really that I'm nervous about it, but I'm really not looking forward to the extended pumping at work again. I'll do it because it's what's best for this little guy, but pumping at work blows.
Here I am this morning. I seem to have popped a bit this week.