Don't Wish It Away

All too often I have found myself saying things like "I can't wait until he's sleeping longer." or "I can't wait until he can play with Andrew." or a handful of other things.  Yes, I'm looking forward to those things, but I need to stop wishing for the future and enjoying the present.

Too soon he will be doing those things.  And while I look forward to him sleeping through the night, once he does I won't have our 3:00 AM time together.  I mean yeah, it would be nice to get a full night's sleep with no interruptions, don't get me wrong.  But there is something about that time when it's quiet and it's just us.  After I change his diaper and re-swaddle him, he lays on the pillow across my lap and grins up at me.  At that moment it doesn't matter that it's 3:00 in the morning. I have this sweet little baby gazing into my eyes and grinning at me and my heart feels like it will explode.  I don't want to give up those moments.

Or the moments when I'm burping him or rocking him and his soft cheek is pressed up against mine. I feel his soft breath in my ear and hear his little squeaks as he gets settled in a comfy position. His fuzzy hair tickles my cheek and I smell his sweet baby smell.  I know eventually he won't want to cuddle like that with me. He'll be too eager to get down and explore and go play with his big brother.  I want to remember those moments forever. To remember how it feels to hold his little body against mine while listening to his rhythmic breathing while he drifts off to sleep.

He's already grown so much from when this was taken

So yeah, I look forward to what the future holds, but I don't want to miss what the present has to offer.  That's all the reminder I need to not wish life away.