Monday, April 30, 2012

Revisiting the Baby #2 Idea

This weekend we had a lot to do. On Saturday we had my company picnic at Blackbeard's Cove (a local amusement area with go-karts, mini-golf, arcade games, jump castles, etc.) and yesterday we had a first birthday party for a friend's son over at the park by Alhambra Hall.  Obviously both occasions had lots of kids running around.  And there were lots of questions for us from lots of people.  The big one was "Are you going to have another?".

That is an excellent question.  And I'm wavering.

Since I think I got my first post-partum period a few weeks ago I have begun charting again with fertility friend.  Mostly it's so I can try to see what the heck is going on with my body.  I'm not holding out much hope that my cycles are going to be "normal" just yet, and I really just want to see what's going on and be prepared.

Anyway, J and I have discussed in passing before if we are going to have a second child.  He has mentioned wanting to have a little girl (um yeah - it's a 50/50 shot, dude) and how we should just pack up the baby things "until next time" so obviously he would like another little munchkin running around.  And I would, too. I mean, when I look at this face:

How could I not want another one??

Sadly, one thing that's holding us back right now is the money.  We are by no means struggling to make ends meet right now - we are comfortable and doing just fine.  But if you add in another little person I think all bets are off.  J had said before if we had another kid I would probably need to stay home, which I might be ok with, but I don't think it's really true.  If you doubled what we pay for childcare right now it would still be a little less than one paycheck for me so it's not like I would be working for nothing.  Of course if we had another child we might have to switch daycares because I don't know if there would be a spot for another baby there (and I absolutely LOVE our daycare so the thought of moving Andrew would break my heart).  If I didn't have my giant car payment (that $754 payment is a punch to the gut every month) and we didn't have that empty lot that we are paying on then getting by with one paycheck might be feasible. Right now it is not.

Then there is the room factor.  Our house isn't tiny, but it isn't huge. Technically we could make do with where we are since it is a 4 bedroom 3 bathroom house (one of those bedrooms is now the 'man room').  But we don't have a play room for kids and that is something I think we really need.  What our house lacks in size it more than makes up for with it's location. We are right next to one of the best elementary schools in the state (#4 out of 566 statewide according to  That means in 4 years when Andrew starts school I will be able to walk him there every morning.  I love that.  And the middle school  he will go to (less than a mile from our house) is #8 out of 254.  Not bad.  If we were to build a house on the lot that J bought when we first started dating and move over there then Andrew would have to go to different schools that aren't as good ( #79/566 and #34/254) or as convenient.  Plus I LOVE our house. We have put so much work into it that I hate the thought of leaving it.

So I don't know.  I still think we will have another little munchkin, but we need to figure out the logistics.  In the meantime I will keep charting and keep enjoying this amazing little kid:

Thursday, April 26, 2012

13 Months

And here I thought that once the munchkin hit one that time would slow down a little bit. Not so much.  This past month went by in the blink of an eye and here we are already at 13 months old.  It's crazy how time has gone by so quickly.  I cherish every day that I spend with him - even when he is driving us nuts!

This is what it's like trying to get a picture of a spastic 13 month old  :)

Age:  13 Months

Stats:  Weight - I'm going to guess 23.5 lbs, but I really have no idea.  Height - Probably around 31"

Size (diapers, clothes, etc.):  Not too much of a change.  He wears size 3 diapers with no leaks. I haven't tried a 4 on him yet to see how big they are, though.  He is in mostly 12 month clothes, though some 9 month onesies and bodysuits still fit.  All 12 month footie pajamas and I just bought him some 18 month ones since he seems to be getting too long for the 12 month ones.

Sleeping:  Still sleeping like a champ (10+ hours a night) with normally two naps a day.  Sometimes he rebels against nap #2 on the weekends, but for the most part he'll still take it.  We are very blessed.

Eating: I BF in the morning still, but this mommy is about tapped out.  I pump in the evening and am now only getting about 1.5 ozs.  I've been sending 3 bottles with 5 oz of whole milk and 1 oz of breastmilk, but starting tomorrow it may be all whole milk. As long as it's warmed up he'll drink it. Still resisting milk in the sippy, though. May need to get tough on that this weekend. Eating still kinda sucks.  I've kind of caved and started pureeing down some of the foods that I bought for him before just so we can get him to eat it. I know it's a step back, but he needs to eat.  Oh, he had funnel cake on Tuesday at the farmers market and loved it.  Yep - he loves fried goodness.  He did eat a couple penne noodles last night, so at there there was that.  This morning he had some greek yogurt and fruit. He loves greek yogurt.

Milestones:  One more tooth on the bottom for 8 total now. No real sign of the one year molars, but I'm dreading them since I've heard that they suck.  Still not interested in walking - not even cruising.  I'm not worried (yet) but I wonder when he'll start.  He has started really babbling and it sounds like he is talking with all the inflections. It's hilarious to listen to.  The only things that sound like words are "mama" and "dada".

New adventures:  Nothing too exciting happened this month besides his birthday party.  This weekend is my company picnic at a local mini-golf/amusement area so that should be interesting.

Favorite toys and activities:  He'll spend 30 minutes chasing a beach ball all over the house and he loves his stuffed armadillo that I bought him in Dallas before he was born.  Oh, and his favorite toy is my phone - that's the first thing he goes for when he sees it.

Funny happenings:  While it was pretty messy, his chocolate thieving from this past weekend was pretty funny. Our little outing to the farmers market downtown two weeks ago was also very fun. He loved standing there dancing to the music. Oh, and he loved playing with the balloons from his birthday party after they lost their helium.

What I'm looking forward to:  More trips to the farmers market and going to the Blessing of the Fleet this weekend.

13 months of craziness down and a lifetime to go  :)

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Toddle Along Tuesday ~ What's In Your Bag?

Linking up again with Mama G over at Growing Up Geeky for Toddle Along Tuesday.  This week's topic is 'What's in Your Diaper Bag?'

Now, normally I feel like I am just shoving stuff in there as we run out the door so on some outings there is probably (a lot!) more crap in there, but here are our basics:

1.  Our Skip Hop Duo Deluxe Diaper Bag.  I don't love it, but it serves it's purpose. I picked out a very neutral one so I wouldn't get any crap from J when he needs to carry it.

2.  A blanket. I pretty much always have one in there just in case.  Nothing fancy, just one of these Gerber thermal receiving blankets.

3.  Diapers.  I try to make sure there are at least 6 in there so I don't have to worry about running out. For longer outings I pack more.

4.  An extra outfit.  Of course there have been a few instances when we left the house and forgot extra clothes for him. And wouldn't you know it those were the times that he decided to either have a blowout or pee all over the place and needed the extra clothes.  So yeah, we were those trashy people pushing our kid around Wal-mart in nothing but a diaper. We're classy that way.

5.  A jacket.  Another just-in-case item.  Not always necessary, but I'd rather have it and not need it than let my munchkin get cold.

6.  Boogie Wipes.  Unfortunately the great grape scent does not make wiping his nose any easier. This kid hates to have his nose messed with.

7.  Wipes.  Perfect for cleaning his little bum and all the other messes he makes.

8.  Formula container.  This is another just-in-case item.  Previously I always had a bottle of breastmilk there for him (I was never comfortable nursing in public), but since that well has just about run dry I keep some emergency formula tucked away in case we need it.

9.  Ziploc bag o' snacks.  Crackers, cheerios, wagon wheels, goldfish or whatever else we had handy and will keep him satisfied so he isn't yelling.

10.  Changing pad.  We have this one from First Years and I love it.  I normally tuck two diapers into one of the compartments before we leave the house and we have some wipes in there as well. That way when I need to take him to the restroom to change him I just need to grab the little changing pad instead of dragging the whole diaper bag with me.

11.  Burp cloths.  Not as necessary as they were when he was a little tiny thing and spitting up all the time, but they still come in handy.

12.  Toys.  There is normally an assortment in there, but at the moment he has his NC State sock monkey, Sophie, a Chick-fil-a cow and some noisy toy with balls inside of it that my sister handed down.

A couple things missing from the picture are some pouches of fruits and veggies (he is loving those lately), a bib and my wallet and phone. If I'm taking the diaper bag I don't even bother taking a purse anymore.

So there you have it - our everyday essentials when it comes to going out with the munchkin.  So, what's in your bag?  Link up to Toddle Along Tuesday and share.

Monday, April 23, 2012

We Should've Named Him Dennis

As in 'the Menace'.

I love my little munchkin more than anything, but holy hell was he a handful this weekend!

Saturday afternoon I was playing with him in the living room while also trying to read the paper.  He was playing with the plastic Easter eggs in his bucket from daycare (yes, we are slackers and haven't put them away yet).  I wasn't aware that he had gotten the one egg open until I looked at him and saw him sucking on something.  He had popped the entire foil covered chocolate that was inside the egg into his mouth and was none too pleased when I fished it out and took it away.  Yes, I realize we should have removed the chocolates before this happened, but we didn't.

After his tantrum about the chocolate he settled down and decided that if he couldn't have the chocolaty goodness he would entertain himself with my phone.  I had it sitting up on the arm of the couch out of reach, or so I thought.  He reached up and grabbed it when I wasn't looking.  It wasn't locked and even though he didn't know what he was doing he got into the my messages and sent an unintelligible  "Hzjsjxjsjjbsh" text to my sister.  I took the phone off of him and put it up on the arm of the chaise and carried him across the room to play with some toys.  The instant his little butt hit the ground he stormed across the room back to my phone.  This was the beginning of his favorite game - get mommy's phone no matter what!

That evening we dropped him off with Andrea (our daycare provider) because she was doing a 'Parent's Night Out' for anyone who wanted to use it.  Since J and I rarely ever have a night out just the two of us we took her up on it and went to see 'Hunger Games'. At 10:30 when we picked him up I was anticipating an epic meltdown since we'd have to wake him up.  Nope.  He woke up with a smile and was raring to go. We got him home and he obviously thought it was play time. He spent the next hour crawling all over the house like a maniac, pulling clothes off of the drying rack, tossing toys around the living room  and basically being a spazz:

Thankfully we got him down a little after 11:00 and he then slept until 10:00 AM the next morning.

Yesterday he woke up recharged and ready to go. While J was putting laundry in the washer the munchkin busied himself trying to pull it all out. A few minutes later when I noticed a stink I took him in his room for a diaper change.  Before I could block him he reached down and grabbed a handful of poo. Ugh!!

After a scrubdown and an outfit change he was off to cause more mischief  I caught him in the foyer attempting a jailbreak:

Clearly we need to start locking the gate.

I took him in the living room, blocked off one exit with the ottoman, and let him play.

He spent the next 20 minutes chasing a beach ball around the house, which was actually pretty comical.  When he got bored with that he was playing in the living room and being suspiciously quiet.  We soon found out why.  J went to see what he was into and found his face and hands covered with chocolate with a piece of foil sticking out between his lips.  Yep - he found another chocolate that we somehow missed.  While J held him down I fished out the chocolate and grabbed some wipes to clean off his face and hands.  J grabbed a dish cloth and wiped down the window in the living room that Andrew had smeared with chocolate.  Afterwards there was another mini tantrum:

We plopped him in the living room and I laid at the other exit to keep him contained.  He was happy playing with his toys and crawling all over me like a spastic little monkey (which is the norm!).

We had dinner while attempting to get him to eat, but he was more interested in seeing how much distance he could get with his potatoes.  He has quite the arm.

During bath time I had some fun with the bubbles:

He looked like Elvis with some bubble hair.  He was relatively behaved during his time in the tub, but when I tried putting his toys away in preparation for rinsing him off he decided that it was a game and quickly pulled every toy out. He had shown no interest in playing with any of them until I tried to put them away (of course!).

I got him back to his room after bath time and before I could diaper him he pulled out an old trick and pee'd on the floor. Awesome.

Needless to say, we were both a little relieved once the munchkin was fed and plopped in the crib to go to sleep. Our own personal Dennis the Menace - man can he be exhausting!

Friday, April 20, 2012

The Great Car Seat Debate

Well, it's not really a debate because no one has questioned what we are doing as far as the munchkin's safety in our car.  However, I have had to bite my tongue on numerous occasions when it comes to others.

There is always a huge debate on rear-facing (RF) vs. forward-facing (FF), at what age it's ok to turn them around, and why you do what you do. At least on TheBump it's a huge debate.  You know when someone posts a question asking when others plan on turning their child to FF and someone says they did it at 1 year that  all hell is going to break loose.

It's easy to see why there is so much debate, though.  If you look at the Governors Highway Safety Association website you can see what the regulations are for each state (click HERE).  There is no consensus on what is "correct".  For instance, in SC the law is RF for under 1 or less than 20 lbs, 1-5 years and 20-39 lbs in a FF safety seat, and 1-5 years and 40-80 lbs in a booster seat.  And SC is one of the states that at least stipulates that they child MUST be RF for a certain period of time.  In South Dakota the only regulation is that they must be in a child restraint until they are 5 years old and the fine for a first time offense is only $25. Seriously?  Do the legislators in that state not care at all about the safety of babies?

It just seems crazy to me that there is not a national law that regulates child safety seats.  I'm sure there are reasons for it, but it still seems weird to me.  The American Association of Pediatrics updated their recommendation on car seats (click HERE to see it), but that is just a recommendation, not a law.

For the record, our little munchkin is still rear-facing and will continue to be for quite some time.

He has plenty of room, and while it would be nice to be able to turn around and see his smiling face it is not worth risking his safety. I will continue to use our rearview mirrors to see his face until his little body is big and strong enough to safely turn to forward-facing.

Therein comes the biting of my tongue.  My sister turned my nieces around at 1 and I have seen countless friends on facebook who have posted pictures of their little ones in their forward-facing car seats.  I'm not one to question someone's parenting choices (to their face at least!) and I'm  not going to tell someone what to do, but part of me wants to say "You know your kid has a 75% more likely chance of dying in a car accident since you turned them around, right?".  Those people aren't breaking any laws, though, so they are well within their rights to do what they are doing.

I guess this is just another area of parenting that people will always have to agree to disagree on - at least until this country wises up and makes some national regulations.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Dumping the Pump

Here we are. It is almost time to call it a day with my trusty companions for the last almost 13 months.  Previously I thought I would be jumping for joy over the end of the relationship, but I'm starting to change my mind. I find myself holding on and trying to delay the inevitable.

I'm talking about the deep and personal relationship I have had with my various pumps (my Ameda Purely Yours, Medela Pump In Style, and EvenFlo SimplyGo single pump) over the past year.

Since the munchkin was a few days old we have been together. I started pumping at the beginning because he wasn't gaining weight and I was afraid that I wasn't producing enough. At the advice of the hospital's lactation consultant I pumped after feedings to try to boost my supply and we did syringe feedings.. Then he started gaining weight like a champ and I was able to start stockpiling some milk for my freezer stash (which all went to waste when he refused to drink it).  Then I returned to work and began my routine of pumping before work, twice during the workday, and then before bed.

Pumping at work sucked. It was awkward and I kind of hated sitting there in an empty office with everyone knowing what was going on in there.  Weird doesn't even begin to describe it.  But I persevered because it was best for the munchkin.  And I daydreamed about the day I would get to pack away the pump(s).

Over the months I saw my supply diminish. I went from easily pumping 28+ ounces a day to struggling to get 12 and now barely getting 3.  I popped more fenugreek, goats rue and blessed thistle than I can shake a stick at and downed gallons upon gallons of Mother's Milk Tea.  All in the name of providing for the munchkin.

Formula was introduced when he was 7 months old after my body (and supply) was ravaged by the flu.  Many tears were shed when he was given the first bottle of formula - and even more came when he wouldn't drink it and I was afraid he would go hungry. Eventually he gave in and took it. My supply bounced back some and we got through the next 5 months with him getting at least 75% breastmilk every day.

Now here we are.  The transition to cow's milk started right around his first birthday.  His birthday also marked the beginning of the end of pumping.  That week I went from pumping twice at work to only once.  After a week of that I quit pumping at work altogether.  I still pumped one side in the morning before nursing him and both sides at night after he went to bed, so I was getting about 6 oz per day - enough to give him three bottles with 2 oz of breastmilk to 4 oz of whole milk.  Last week I dropped the morning pumping and just let him nurse on both sides.  I'm lucky to get 3 oz with my nightly pumping so pretty soon he will not have any breastmilk for his daycare bottles.  He's still not 100% sold on straight cow milk,  but today's bottles have a 1.5 to 4.5 oz ratio.  By next week they will have to be all cow milk, unless we add in a little formula.

I had hoped to be able to continue nursing him in the mornings and the weekends - maybe even in the evening instead of giving him a bedtime bottle - but my munchkin apparently had other ideas.  This past weekend when I tried to nurse him before he went down for a nap he just laid on my lap and cried. He wouldn't latch and pushed me away. After several attempts I gave in and made him a bottle, all the while trying not to feel rejected (and failing).  The same thing happened several more times over the next two days.  Cue the sound of my heart breaking just a little bit.

So there it is - my baby (toddler) has decided to wean himself.  He still gives me 5 or 10 minutes of his time in the morning, but that's it. Part of me believes it's just that the milk isn't there anymore and he wants the instant gratification that he gets from a bottle. Had I kept up the rigorous pumping schedule that I did for months I may have been able to prolong it, but what's done is done.

I will always be proud of how far we made it. I will always cherish the time that we had together and will look back fondly on our quiet times, rocking in the recliner while he gazed up at me with a content look on his face after a satisfying nursing session.

And I will pack away my pumps until they are needed again (IF they are needed again). But I won't be doing it with as much excitement as I thought I would be.  Instead it will be with a little sigh of sadness as I think about how fast the little munchkin is growing and how he doesn't need me quite as much as he did before.


Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Toddle Along Tuesday ~ A Day in the Life

This week's topic for Toddle Along Tuesday is "A Day in the Life".  Not that we lead an overly exciting life or anything, but I thought I'd share anyway.

My weekday starts at 5:55 AM when my alarm goes off.  It used to be 5:42, but since I stopped pumping in the morning I gave myself an extra 13 minutes now.  I stumble into the bathroom, take my temperature (AF did finally show up last Friday so I am getting back into charting just for the hell of it), wash  my face, brush my teeth and put my contacts in (I shower at night). I get dressed and start getting ready, pausing around 6:15 to wake J up.  I finish getting ready while he showers then I head downstairs to get all my stuff gathered up for the day.  I run all my bags down to the car and come back up to J waking up the munchkin around 6:55.  He is generally not thrilled to be woken up.

J leaves for work after letting the dogs out while I nurse the munchkin. I change him out of his pee filled diaper and get him dressed for the day then we head out to the kitchen so I can get him some breakfast.  I should probably just take his breakfast to daycare with him and let him eat there, but I feel bad pawning that off on them and I kind of like our breakfast time together.  So he eats some fruit and cereal while we "talk".

How could I pass up seeing this in the morning?

Normally during breakfast I see 'poo face' so I go change him (again) before we head out the door.  On a good day we are out the door at 7:30ish.  This morning was 7:32 - and that was even after an epic poo filled diaper.  Still amazes me that that much poo can come out of one little body.

I drop him off at daycare and chat with Marc and Andrea for a few minutes.  I get my last hugs and kisses from the munchkin and head to work.  Again, on a good day I can there around 8:00. From 8:00 until 4:00 I work. Sometimes I go grab lunch, but more often than not I bring my lunch and eat at my desk.  I like being able to go straight through so I can leave a little earlier. And since I am no longer pumping at work I am able to get my hours in faster.  I am normally out the door by 4:30.  If I get out a little earlier I'll head to the gym for a quick workout. On days I pick up the munchkin I pick him up between 5:00 and 5:30 and we head home.

I'll push him around in his trike for a little bit:

And we might have a little playtime:

He tends to take off down the hall before I can get him re-dressed - hence the lack of clothes in this picture

If J isn't home yet I will take the munchkin upstairs with me and he gets to play in the bathroom while I shower.  It's kind of funny to shower while this is staring at you and licking the glass:

Then we'll head downstairs and I start to make dinner while he sits in his highchair and eats his.  Finger foods are still a crap shoot, but last night he ate at least 10 chunks of chicken tenders (each tender was cut into 6 pieces) in addition to the jar of whole wheat garden vegetables.  He busied himself swinging a steamed green bean around while J and I ate a quick dinner.

Around 7:00 it's tub time. We finally have him just in the big tub and the goal is generally to keep him IN the tub.  He likes to try to climb out and I spend most of his bath sitting him back down and cleaning up the water that he flings over the side.  I also try to keep the no-slip fish in place, but he likes to pull them off and play with them:

While I'm handling bath time J is out in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner.  Or sometimes he does bath time and I clean, it all depends.

After the bath we go in his room, dry him off and attempt to get him dressed.  He rebels against getting his diaper put on and his jammies, but once they're on he is content to play with daddy for a bit while I go make his bedtime bottle. Once he's done playing he starts to melt down. This signals that it's time for bed:

He gets his bedtime bottle and is in the crib, normally by 8:15 at the latest.  Once he's down for the night I go and get stuff ready for the next day - pack my lunch and get everything ready for the munchkin for daycare (food and milk).  I am still pumping at night since we are transitioning to whole cow milk and I have been mixing it with some breast milk.  So I spend 30 mins using my little single electric pump while checking email and playing games on my tablet.  I get all that cleaned up and relax for 45 mins or so before going to bed around 10:00.

Like I said, not overly exciting, but this is our life.

So what about you?  What does your typical day look like?  Head on over to Growing Up Geeky and link up for Toddle Along Tuesday!

Monday, April 16, 2012

Another Whirlwind Weekend with the Munchkin

Another weekend come and gone - and a busy one at that!

On Friday afternoon J left to go do a 100K bike ride up in Brevard, NC.  So that night it was just me and the munchkin.  He hung out in his little trike and watched while I let the dogs out and watered the garden.  He is sitting there holding onto his armadillo toy that I bought for him in Dallas when he was still in my belly.

That evening we hung out, had some dinner, did some playing and then it was time for the bath:

He's got the nice 'Flock of Seagulls' hair going on there

Saturday morning we got up and had a little breakfast before we headed downtown to the farmers market. I got there at the perfect time and got a parking space just as someone was leaving.  I was thrilled to not have to try to squeeze my big ass car into a parking garage.  We walked around, I bought some produce and got us a cinnamon sugar soft pretzel and big fresh squeezed lemonade to share.  We found a spot on the lawn (note to self - bring a blanket next time) and listened to the music.  Andrew shared some of my pretzel and did a little dancing:

Thankfully he still isn't walking so I didn't have to chase him too far, unlike one of the other moms who kept running past us chasing her little boy.  It was pretty amusing.

Later that day, after his nap, we took a trip to Target to get him some stuff (and spend the giftcards he got at his birthday)  I was able to get him a bin for his bath toys, the ducky faucet cover and a penguin that blows bubbles for the tub.  He's not too sure about the penguin just yet:

J got home around 6:00 so he had a few hours to hang out with the munchkin before it was time to get him to bed.

Sunday morning we had a little family time and hung out on the deck with the pooches.  Andrew decided to taunt Baxter with the tennis ball chucker.  Baxter was content to chew on his bone:

In the afternoon we got motivated to try to put the hand me down bike seat on my bike.  Unfortunately it was missing some parts, so the munchkin and I headed to Wal-Mart for a new seat and to get a helmet for him.  After about 90 minutes (and some barely contained profanities) we got the bike seat on and took it for a spin:

Andrew isn't overly amused by his helmet. I need to work on the straps to make it fit better on him.  Or his noggin needs to grow a little more.

So, it was another fun filled weekend with my little buddy that was over in the blink of an eye.  Now I'm sitting here at work looking at the calendar and counting how many weeks until Memorial Day (and my next long weekend). Ugh - five more weeks. Can't come fast enough...

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Enjoying Where We Are

That's what I'm trying to do right now - enjoy where we are right now in life.  There are so many things that stress me out on a daily basis. So many 'what ifs' and 'should'ves' that if I let myself think about too much will just add more stress.

Most of it centers around the munchkin (of course).  Every day I question if we are doing everything right.  He's over a year old and still eating purees, drinking from a bottle, and not walking.  I know he won't be eating purees forever and eventually he'll stop the pukefest that we've been dealing with the last few days, but it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.  One day he'll go to town on some ham or chicken tenders, and the next he is gagging on it and throwing up all over the place.  Fun times.

And he'll drink water out of a sippy cup like a champ, but if I put milk in there he turns up his nose at it and cries.  So much for my goal of having him off the bottle by 12 months. Yeah, that ship has sailed.

And walking?  No interest whatsoever.  I swear that is always the first question out of someone's mouth whenever they meet him for the first time - "So, is he walking yet?".  Then I deal with their surprised responses when I say no.

Of course I bring a lot of this on myself by going on the message boards and seeing what other babies are doing.  Oh, your 10 month old just ate a sandwich and washed it down with a sippy cup of milk?  That's awesome -  my 12 month old just puked on a hot dog chunk and threw his sippy of milk on the floor.  Your 9 month old just ran a lap around your house?  Fantastic.  My kid would rather crawl around and bulldoze his way over things than get up on two feet and take a step.


I know I need to stop. I know that developmentally Andrew is just fine.  He is not delayed by any stretch of the imagination. Even my pediatrician sister has assured me that I have absolutely nothing to worry about.

But if I get right down to it it's not really him that I'm worried about. It's me and my abilities as a mom (or lack thereof).  I know we are always our own worst critics and other people might think I am doing a fine job, but I always have that nagging thought in the back of my head.  "What if I am doing this wrong?"  "What if I'm screwing him up?".

He's a happy and healthy kid so I don't think I am doing any irreparable damage by not knowing what the F&@% I am doing.  But I still worry.  I guess I should get used to that, though.  I didn't think about it when I signed up for this parenting gig, but I'm pretty sure for the rest of my days I will always worry about something when it comes to Andrew.

He couldn't be more worth it.