And now I feel like the world's biggest jerk

Yesterday was a mess. Tons of drama and emotions and hormones flying everywhere.  As mentioned, there was discussion of a baby shower and my concerns and unhappiness.

Well it all kind of blew up with me emailing my mom with a response to what I felt was her attacking/criticizing me.  It all went downhill from there.

Last night after I got home from the gym where I was able to work out a little frustration I checked my email.  There was one from my sister with the subject "What is going on?".

Turns out she is the one that is actually planning the shower, it was going to be a surprise on March 12th and they told me my friends are planning it for the 19th to throw me off.  My two friends that are helping have limited funds so they decided on a smaller shower and thought that girls only would be nice an intimate.

Yep - I pretty much burst into tears as I was reading it.  Then the phone rang and it was my mom. We had a big long discussion and everything is fine.  Thankfully she understands that my hormones are playing hell with my emotions and I am overly sensitive at the moment, so she won't hold it against me for being bratty.

So bottom line I feel like an ungrateful jerk and that I ruined the surprise.  But in my defense, I hate surprises and who decides to surprise a hormonal emotion bomb at 36 weeks pregnant anyway????

Oh, and to top it off - J knew all about the surprise and had been doing his best to divert my questions. He had been planning on calling my sister last night to let her know that I was freaking out and to try to figure things out.  Love him to death, but I wish he would've clued me in.  Instead he had to deal with a sobbing trainwreck last night.  Ugh - is it April yet????

And here is this week's check-in:

How far along? 29w2d - baby is a squash - 15.2-16.7 inches, 2.5-3.8 lb over the next 4 weeks

Weight gain/loss: This morning I weighed myself and am at +23 lbs exactly.  Oy.

Maternity Clothes: Half and half.  Today I am sporting maternity pants and a shirt, but some days I get away with regular tops in longer length. I wore maternity jeans for the first time on Saturday and they drove me crazy.

Symptoms:  The newest one is my Tour-de-France-bicycle-seat-crotch as I like to call it.  Kind of feels like getting kicked with some heavy boots right between the legs.  It's keeping my stubborn colon and itchy belly company.

Gender:  It's a boy!!!

Sleep? Definitely getting more difficult.  My little internal alarm clock likes to start kicking away in the 4:00 hour.  Not cool little buddy - not cool at all.

Best moment this week? Not the least bit baby related, but the Steelers punching their ticket to their 8th Super Bowl. Here we go, Steelers, here we go!!!

Movement: All the time and he is definitely getting stronger. This weekend it felt like he was trying to dig his way out. I think he was excited about his team winning (while he is inside of me he is definitely a Steelers fan!)

Food cravings/aversions: Still all about sweets, but I'm trying to control that urge.

Belly button in or out? In but flattening out.

What I miss? Being able to paint my toenails, having more of a selection when it comes to wardrobe, and sleeping comfortably.

What I am looking forward to? Doing more work on the nursery. The ceiling is completely scraped and sanded - we just need to put up the crown molding and then we can paint.

Milestones: 75 days to go!

What I'm nervous about: My abilities as a mom. Some days I can't wait for him to be here. Other days I think "What did we get ourselves into?"

And this week's pic: