23 Months!

Are you kidding me?!?  How in the world is it possible that in one month I will have a two year old??  Where did this little guy go?:

It doesn't seem like it was really 23 months ago that we were snuggling that little guy and trying to figure out what the heck we were doing.

Not that we really know what we're doing now  :)

But now we have this crazy little kid:

I can't put into words how much he makes us laugh or just how much we love him. Even when he is driving me absolutely crazy I still feel like the luckiest person in the world to be his mommy.  He's a funny kid.

He repeats everything (even the things I would rather he didn't!)
He's talking up a storm and I stopped tracking his words on my phone once he surpassed 100.
He FINALLY called me mommy this past weekend and my heart about melted.
He loves his duck (still) and insists on having him before going to bed.
He has a newfound love for 'bankets' (blankets) and will drag them all over the house - even up the steps as seen above.
He loves to sing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Ring Around the Rosy", sometimes even combining the songs.
He looks you in the eyes, says "I kiss!" and plants a big kiss on your lips.
He gives hugs with enthusiasm when asked.

And there are a million other things that make him the awesome kid that he is. The past 23 months have been a trip and I know the future will be even more fun.

I love you, Andrew  :)

One Down, Two To Go

Wow.  It seems crazy that I am already done with the 1st trimester. That means I am already 1/3 of the way done with this pregnancy. Yikes!

So far it kind of seems like it's flying by, but that's probably because I am so busy chasing after my little spazz that I don't have time to think about it. I also think it's flying by because I would prefer it to go slower. I don't feel the connection yet that I felt at this point with Andrew. That guilt is weighing on me, but I don't want to think about it so I just push it aside and ignore it. Healthy, I know.

I have my second OB appointment tomorrow and I'm hoping that I'll get to actually hear the heartbeat.  We only saw it during the u/s 4 weeks ago, so I'd like the reassurance of hearing it.

My family still doesn't know that I am pregnant and it appears that they won't until Easter weekend when we have Andrew's 2nd birthday party.  Yeah, I'll be 19 weeks then and there will be no hiding the fact that I am knocked up. I want to tell them in person and since my mom bailed this past weekend I didn't get to do it.  I keep living in fear that one of mine or J's friends will slip up and post something on facebook. Then I'll have to deal with my parents being pissed about finding out second hand.

Of course I do not have one single ounce of excitement in me about telling my sister that she's going to be an aunt again. I believe that she is currently avoiding me because she is in Disney right now with my other sister and my nieces and I'm guessing she might feel a little guilt about her obvious favoring of the girls over my child.  I'm to the point that I don't care anymore.  If the last two years have taught me anything (besides how awesome it is to be a mom) it's that she is a spoiled brat.

So yeah, that's where I am right now.  Starting 2nd tri, disconnected and still a little ambivalent.  I hope things change soon...

13 Weeks

It's official, nowhere is safe anymore.  I used to be able to lock Andrew in our bedroom while I showered after the gym and just put anything I didn't want him to mess with up on the bed. Our bed is pretty high and he can't get up there.  Or I should say he couldn't. Last night while I was showering he was doing his typical running in and out of the bathroom.  Then he disappeared and didn't come back.  I finished up and when I got out I saw this:

Just lounging on our bed watching 'Jake and the Neverland Pirates'.  That thing on the bed behind him is the DVD player that I put up there out of his reach (J needs to install it and it's just been sitting on the glider ottoman).

I asked him "How did you get up there?" because I really thought that J must have come in and put him there.  Nope.  He happily scooted over to the side and slid off, then ran to the foot of the bed and climbed back up using the chest as a ladder and heaved himself over the footboard.  He was SO proud of himself.  Truth be told, I was proud, too.  I'm just bummed that I can't stash things he shouldn't get into up there anymore...

Anyway, on to this week:

How far along? 13w0d and the size of a peach.  ~2.9 inches and .8 ounces.  Munchkin 2.0 is forming vocal cords and teeth and already has fingerprints. Weird.

Weight loss/gain:  I didn't even bother to weigh myself this morning.  I feel crappy and haven't taken one in several days so I avoided the scale.  I'm sure it's at least 6.5 lbs. Ugh.

Maternity clothes: Nope - my regular clothes fit just fine.

Symptoms:  I'm still exhausted (where is that second tri burst of energy?), still constipated, still queasy every once in a while and having some fun round ligament pain.

Sex (of baby):  We will reveal this next month  :)

Sleep: Sleeping pretty well for the most part. I really wish I'd stop waking up 5 mins before my alarm goes off, though.

Best moment this week? Finding out that 2.0 is healthy.

Movement: Nope.  I'm wondering if I'll feel it earlier this go 'round, but I figure it's still at least a few weeks off.

Food cravings:  Nothing in particular, I'm just hungry all the time.

Belly button in or out?  In

What I miss?  Having energy.

What I'm looking forward to?  My appt next Tuesday and hopefully getting to hear the heartbeat.  We're also telling my mom this weekend that I'm pregnant (if she is able to come down on Sunday).

Milestones:  Oh so close to 2nd tri.

What I'm nervous about:  Telling work.  I'm freaking out because word came down this week about possible furloughs for Defense Department civilian workers.  I don't work directly for them, but we are contractors and not sure how this will affect us.  I'm scared to tell them now because I feel like I'll be seen as expendable.

Still not much to see, but I'm definitely starting to poof out a little more. It's getting to the point where there is no sucking it in. It's even worse at night.

The Results Are In!

I really thought I wouldn't hear anything until at least this Friday since they said it would take 8-10 days from the time I had the blood draw (this is for the MaterniT21 test).  Last night as I was trying to wrangle the munchkin out of the kitchen pantry my phone rang with an unfamiliar number.  Normally I won't answer if I don't recognize the number, but since I thought it might be possible that I was getting results I picked up.

I was pleasantly surprised when she said she was calling from MUSC.  Yay!  When she said "Are you ready for some good news?" I broke into a huge smile.  She went on to tell me that everything looked perfect.  Our baby does not have any trisomies and there are no issues with the sex chromosomes.  I breathed a huge sigh of relief.  I know we need to wait for the anatomy scan to check for anything else, but knowing that 2.0 doesn't have any chromosomal abnormalities is a weight off my mind.

After going through all of that she said she had a note in there for boy or girl and asked if we want to know.  Umm... yeah!  She then told me that we're having a healthy baby....

It's a secret.  I really want to try to keep it under wraps from family and friends until we do our photos next month, so no reveal here or on facebook just yet.  I guess you'll just have to wait and see  :)

Oh the Joys of Toddlerhood

Don't get me wrong, I love Andrew with every fiber of my being, but lately he has been a little trying.  I don't know if it's just because I am exhausted from being pregnant and that my hormones have given my temper a hairtrigger or what.

He's not a bad kid, I know that.  I have seen bad kids and compared to them Andrew is pretty damn good.  It's just that right now he is a spazz of a toddler and it's been exhausting. Last night while he was sitting on the couch with a snack of stale fruit loops (yeah, MOTY here) he spilled half of his sippy of milk down the side of the couch.  I hurried up and cleaned it up and then walked away and shut myself in the bathroom for five minutes (he stayed out in the living room with J and amazingly didn't follow me and stand there beating on the door). I sat there, head in my hands, and took a bunch of deep breaths while telling myself to relax.  After five or so minutes I was ready to head back out for more.

My headstrong and ornery munchkin

The second I saw his sweet little smile I felt immense guilt for getting so frustrated with him.  And then the panic set in.  The panic of "How the $&#@ are we supposed to handle two kids when just one is driving me insane?  What were we thinking??".

It wasn't helping that we received an email from daycare detailing what had gone on yesterday between Andrew and another little boy, Anthony (who is 17 months). It seems that neither of them wanted to share toys with each other and there was some fighting and aggression (pushing and shirt pulling - Andrew ended up with a scratch on his neck).  So not only was I tired and frustrated, but I was feeling mommy guilt for not being good at teaching my kid to share.

I know his behavior isn't out of the norm.  He's (almost) 23 months and this is what kids at that age do.  I know he's testing his limits, seeing what he can get away with and trying to explore new things.  And I know that things will only get worse more interesting as time goes on.  I know I should be grateful that so far the tantrums have been relatively minor, that we haven't dealt with anything beyond some crying and/or pouting when he doesn't get his way.  I realize that could all change in an instant and that the "terrible two's" are rapidly approaching.  I know we aren't bad parents and we don't have a bad kid, I'm just tired and having a hard time dealing with everything right now.

And to think - we'll get to start this stage all over again with 2.0 in a few years...

My Funny Valentine and 12 Weeks

Yesterday way Valentine's Day.  I'm generally not a fan because there is too much pressure put on it and people feel like they have to scramble to prove how much they love their significant other.  I wasn't expecting anything, but I did wake up to a cute little rose bush and some handmade cards from my two favorite guys.

Andrew's card is currently on my wall at work so I can look at his scribbly nonsense throughout the day.  And my little rosebush is on my windowsill here until it gets warm enough for us to plant it outside.  I know most women might prefer a big bouquet of roses, but I love that I'll have these little guys for a long time growing on our porch.

I tried getting a picture of my little munchkin with his Valentine bear, but he was being a big goofball, so this is the best I could do:

Love that kid so damn much!

Anyway, on to my weekly update...

How far along? 12w0d and the size of a plum.  2.1 inches and almost half an ounce.  Capable of opening and closing it's hands and curling it's toes.

Weight loss/gain:  It appeared to be +6 lbs this morning, but I haven't gone to the bathroom in days.  I'm checking into probiotics this weekend.

Maternity clothes: Nope - my regular clothes fit just fine.

Symptoms:  I'm tired and can't poop.

Sex (of baby):  We could possibly know this next week if I get the results of my test back.  I really don't have a feeling one way or the other yet.

Sleep: Sleeping pretty well with one or two wakeups to pee.

Best moment this week? Not much going on at this point.

Movement: Nope.  S/he may be moving in there but I won't feel it for a while.

Food cravings:  Sweets.  Cheap valentine's candy is going to be my downfall.

Belly button in or out?  In

What I miss?  Not feeling so gross.

What I'm looking forward to?  Getting the results from my test and (hopefully) finding out that s/he is healthy.

Milestones:  Inching closer to 2nd tri.

What I'm nervous about:  I'm back to "How the $&#@ are we going to handle two kids?!?"

Yes, I decided to face the opposite direction this week - it seemed more flattering.  Still nothing to see except a little extra thickness in the midsection.

Wordless Wednesday ~ He's Ready for Baby :)

Keeping Secrets

So far I've been pretty good at it.  We told my in-laws this weekend and they were very happy for us and excited for their impending second grandchild.  Idiot BIL swore he won't say anything on facebook, so hopefully that means my parents won't find out until we tell them (whenever that is).  So yeah, for the most part I've been good about keeping a secret since I've had an outlet to spill with others.

Well, now I might have to test my secret keeping abilities for real.  I am having the MaterniT21 test tomorrow and part of that is finding out the sex of the baby earlier than normal (with 99.something percent certainty).  I'm not sure how soon we'll get the results, but I assume we'll have them by my next OB appt on the 26th at the latest.

We could tell people then, but I've gotten an interesting proposition.  We're having some more family pictures taken towards the end of next month - our first ones were when Andrew was 6 months and I absolutely LOVE them.  Well, our awesome photographer, Selena Stoney, emailed me yesterday and asked if we want to integrate a little reveal into our photoshoot, maybe with balloons or something.  I love the idea and think it would be so much fun to do something like that.  The question is, can I keep a secret for more than a month???

So, although we will know relatively soon what is cooking in there, I am going to do my damnedest to not let anything slip until we get our photos done.  Yep, I'm gonna be a total tease  ;)

11 Weeks and Preparing to Tell

This afternoon we are headed to Charlotte (well, Matthews) to visit the in-laws and break the news that they will have another grandchild.  I guess I could lie and say I'm excited, but I'm not. Partially because I'd rather tell my family first.  Mostly because my worthless brother-in-law will be there (since he STILL lives off of his parents at almost 40 years old) and I don't want to deal with him.  I will need to spell it out to him that he is NOT to post anything on facebook about this.  At all.  If he does and my parents find out because of him I am going to seriously kill him. Of course that would give me a reason to delete him from my FB and never add him back.  Ugh, I know hate is a strong word, but I hate that guy.  Thinking about him makes my blood boil - just what this pregnant momma needs.

Anyway, on to this week...

How far along? 11w0d - it's the size of a lime.  Weighing in at about .25 ounces, no more webbed fingers and toes, and starting to form tooth buds, hair follicles, and nail beds.

Weight loss/gain:  +5 lbs according to my scale.  If this dame fiber and miralax would work it might be lower.

Maternity clothes: Nope - my regular clothes fit just fine.

Symptoms:  Some round ligament pain, the ever present constipation, waves of nausea and overall fatigue.

Sex (of baby):  My MaterniT21 test is on Tuesday. I should have the results in a week or so after that so we should be able to find out the sex then.

Sleep: Sleeping better but still waking up at least once a night to pee.  I normally fall right back to sleep.

Best moment this week? Nothing really happened this week.

Movement: Nope.  S/he may be moving in there but I won't feel it for a while.

Food cravings:  Not really craving any one thing in particular - I'm just really hungry all the time.

Belly button in or out?  In

What I miss?  Regularity.

What I'm looking forward to?  My test on Tuesday and getting the results. I'm worried since I'm in the "Advanced Maternal Age" category.  I just want to know that everything is ok.

Milestones:  I don't know, hitting week 11 and getting closer to the end of 1st tri I guess.

What I'm nervous about:  Telling the family. After all the tension with Andrew's birth (and naming) I kind of dread telling my sister.

Bloat is a little better but I'm poofy. I look forward to having a real bump and not just this puffy loose stomach.

Wordless Wednesday ~ Big Boy Haircut & Stolen Pizza

They're Just So Fast

This past weekend I experienced a huge mommy fail. It wasn't my first and I'm pretty sure it won't be my last, but I feel like it was my worst so far.

On Saturday  I needed to go to Wal-mart to pick up some things, so I needed to get ready. J was out cycling so I had Andrew upstairs with  me. I plugged in my curling iron in the bathroom and ran to grab clothes to change into.  In a split second Andrew was in the bathroom and I heard him scream.

My heart sank as I ran in and saw him standing there, curling iron on the ground and his little hand in his mouth.  I tossed the curling iron back up on the counter, scooped him up, carried him into the bedroom and cuddled him to me.  He was clinging to me, sobbing.  And in that instant I felt like the absolute worst mommy in the world.

How could I be so careless?  He's never tried to grab it off the counter before and I got complacent.

I wrapped some ice in a washcloth and was able to get it on his little hand a few times.  Once he finally let me get a look I could see an angry red mark on the side of his palm between his thumb and index finger. He stopped crying, but was still clinging to me with his head on my shoulder.  We sat there for 15 minutes, me gently rocking him and telling him I was sorry for letting him get hurt.

After he was calm I hurried up and got ready, making sure the cord was nowhere in his reach.  We went back downstairs and he walked up to me, held up his little hand and said "I sorry.".  My heart broke a little more.

I know it could have been much worse and in the grand scheme of things it isn't as bad as it feels to me.  But seeing my little guy with tears rolling down his cheeks and knowing that it was something that I could have prevented was hard.  I know I can't protect him from everything  and I know he is going to have many more bumps, bruises and boo boos before he's grown (and even after).  It was a hard lesson for both of us, but hopefully we both learned something.

Seeing tears of pain on this sweet face isn't something that I want to experience again any time soon.

New EDD and 10 Weeks!

At my appt on Tuesday my EDD got moved.  When I called to make the appt I lied about the date of my last period because I knew they would base the due date on that and it would be wrong.  I was charting and I knew that I ovulated on CD9 (cycle day 9) and not the standard CD14 that doctor's offices base it on.  But then when I was filling out the paperwork I messed up and put the actual date of my LMP, so they gave me a 09/08/13 due date instead of the 09/02/13 date that I had based on my chart.

I explained all of this to the sonographer before we got started. I don't think she was buying it.  Then she started doing the measurements and we found that I was measuring 9w4d. Since that was more than a week off of what I would have been based on my LMP my doctor decided to go with the 08/30/13 EDD that the measurements gave us.  I'll go with it since that's what they have for me - so that moves my weekly ticker changes to Fridays instead of Mondays.  So on that note - here is my week 10 check in:

How far along? 10w0d - it's the size of a prune (of which I am eating a crapload with no effect).  It has working arm joints and is starting to develop fingernails and hair.

Weight loss/gain:  Not really sure. I haven't weighed myself at home in over a week.  The doctor's office had be +5 lbs from my BFP weight, but that was later in the day after eating and drinking and fully clothed.  I'll break down and weigh myself this weekend.

Maternity clothes: Nope - my regular clothes fit just fine.

Symptoms:  My colon hates me and the nausea comes and goes. Fun stuff.

Sex (of baby):  We'll be finding out, and possibly sooner rather than later. Due to my "advanced maternal age" I was referred to MUSC for the MaterniT21 test. I'm not 100% sure how it works, but I think they will be able to tell us if it's a boy.  That test is on the 12th of this month, so we could know by the end of February.

Sleep: I've been sleeping fine, normally waking up once a night to pee. And this whole week I've woken up about 5 minutes before my alarm goes off, which is kind of annoying.

Best moment this week? Seeing Munchkin 2.0 on the u/s on Tuesday.

Movement: Nope.  S/he may be moving in there but I won't feel it for a while.

Food cravings:  Nothing really. I'm eating fruit like a madwoman to try to loosen my bowels, though.

Belly button in or out?  In

What I miss?  Not feeling like I constantly have a bowling ball in my gut.

What I'm looking forward to?  Next appt is still 25 days away (regular appt, not the MaterniT21 one) so I guess I'm just looking forward to a relaxing weekend this weekend (I hope!).

Milestones:  Seeing the heartbeat.

What I'm nervous about:  Telling work.  There have been some changes around here lately and I have to tell them sooner rather than later (with Andrew I waited until 17 weeks). Not sure how to bring it up.

The bloat seems to be subsiding a little bit, but this bulky sweater isn't doing me any favors.  Neither is my somewhat sizable ass.  Oh well.