Finally Settling In

When I was pregnant with Elliot one of my biggest fears was about how it would affect the life that we had settled into with one kid. It felt like things were finally easier. We were able to go out and do things without it being a big production. We even took a couple little vacations and it wasn't a complete disaster.

Fast forward to Elliot being born. In the first couple weeks it all came back to me just how hard it can be to get out and about with a newborn.  It took me what seemed like forever to be comfortable enough to go out by myself with both boys. The first time I took them both to the grocery store by myself felt like a huge victory.

Even going out as a family felt like a huge ordeal. I had forgotten how much stuff you need to take when you have a little baby in tow. I went back to being nervous that I had forgotten something and/or that we would have a huge meltdown in public.  Elliot isn't as easygoing as Andrew was as a little guy and I've felt like on edge at the thought of going out and doing things. Especially with the bottle strike that we dealt with for a few weeks - I almost felt trapped.

Well, after 6+ months I finally feel like we are settling into normal. That we are getting back to a routine and being able to go and do things.

This past Saturday we went downtown because I needed to get a gift for a bridal shower that evening.  Instead of just going down myself we decided to make it a family outing since it was such a beautiful day.  Elliot woke up from his 2 hour nap (yay!), I nursed him and we headed out.  We parked at J's office and walked down King Street, Andrew in the stroller and Elliot snuggled up to me in the Baby K'Tan.  I found a gift and then we strolled around town killing time while it was being wrapped.  I was pleasantly surprised that he passed back out for another snooze while we were walking back to the car:

That evening I had the tea party themed bridal shower to go to so J was on his own with both boys.  Had this been the previous weekend I would have been a huge ball of anxiety since Elliot was refusing bottles.  Instead I felt like it was ok for me to go out and have some me time with some friends that I hadn't seen in forever:

Yesterday was another beautiful day outside so we took advantage of Elliot finally settling into a nap routine and gave my car a much needed cleaning (with Andrew's help):

 I hope he is that excited about helping out when he is old enough to actually help.  After he was done washing he enjoyed sitting in the car and turning every knob and pushing every button that he could find:

After Elliot woke up I took him out for a little photo shoot since I wanted to get a couple pictures of him in this cute little outfit before he gets too big for it:

It was a really nice couple days. Not at all like last weekend when I spent the better part of Saturday in tears while we worked on breaking the bottle strike. This was a weekend that I really enjoyed.  Spending time with all my boys and getting a little time on my own. I finally feel like we are settling back in to some sort of routine and that life is getting a little bit easier.  It makes me look forward to all the things we'll get to do in the future with our boys - and maybe even getting a little more me time.

6 Month Photos

This past weekend, in the midst of bottle strike hell, we went and got Elliot's 6 month pictures done. When we did his newborn pictures we were given the option of doing her "Grow With Me" package to get 6 month and 1 year pictures done.  I'm so glad we did because OMG look at this cuteness:

Even on our worst days I look at that sweet face and absolutely melt.  He is my beautiful squishy baby and I am so beyond blessed to call him my own.

And it just kills me to see how different my two boys look from each other.  Here is a comparison of both of them at 6 months:

I've always loved Andrew's baby blues, but Elliot's big brown eyes are so sweet.  I'm interested to see if there is more of a resemblance as Elliot grows older.  Either way, it goes without saying that we have two awesome little boys. And we make some damn cute babies  ;)

A Battle of Wills

Friday I was exhausted and I had had it.  Elliot's bottle strike was taking it's toll on me mentally and emotionally.  I checked in with Andrea multiple times to see if Elliot had eaten anything. Each time I got the same response: "Not yet".

At 5:00 she sent me a text saying he had just woken up and asked if I wanted her to try to feed him.  Being that he had last eaten at 6:00 AM my answer was a resounding "Yes!".  She later informed me that he had eaten 2 oz.  So in 12 hours he had eaten 2 oz. I almost cried.

J picked the boys up from daycare and our plan was for him to (try to) feed Elliot a bottle before I got home. We thought maybe he'd have more luck if I wasn't there.  When I got home I snuck in and made sure he couldn't see me.  J was able to get 3 oz in him while I went and showered. He had heated up more, but Elliot was fussing so he laid him on the playmat.  On a whim I grabbed the bottle, picked him up and attempted to feed him. I was shocked (and thrilled!) when he sucked down the 4 oz bottle from me.  I (stupidly) thought maybe we were on the right track.

The plan that night was for me to nurse him before putting him down and he would get bottles overnight.  I gave in and nursed him when he was up at 12:30, though. He started making noises at 5:00 and J went down and made a bottle.  He was going riding that morning so at 6:45 he brought the monitor back up and left it so I'd hear Elliot if he started to fuss. At 7:15 he was shouting so I got up. I saw the bottle that he had made up still sitting in the cup of warm water.  I took that to mean that Elliot refused the bottle and my heart sank.  For the hell of it I grabbed him and the bottle and saw if he would eat.  I was again shocked when I got this:

I nursed him for a little bit to get him down for a quick nap before we went to go get his 6 month pictures done (those will be up soon).  So he ate at 9:30 and was pretty pleasant for his photo shoot.  We were going to go downtown to the children's museum that afternoon, but things quickly went downhill.  Every time we tried to get him to take a bottle it turned into a crying fit (both him and me).  At one point I put him in the crib and ran upstairs because I couldn't take it.  I was getting so upset that he wouldn't take the bottle and I found myself getting angry that he wouldn't just give in.  I knew he was hungry - why wouldn't he just eat??  I burst into tears so many times and started getting snippy with J.  It was wearing on me so much. No matter what we tried he would fight us.  Bottles, baby food or even BLW attempts. Everything just made him upset, which in turn made me upset.

At 6:00 PM - 8.5 hours after he'd last eaten - I heated up a small 2 oz bottle and gave it a shot. He took it with no fight and started sucking it down. I quickly called to J to have him heat up more. All in all he sucked down 8 oz and I was relieved.  Again that night I nursed him to bed and when he got up at 1:30 J went down and tried with a bottle. It was an hour before he came back to bed, but he had gotten Elliot to take the bottle, so I was relieved.  When he woke up at 7:45 I went and nursed him because I was about to burst.  I tried some bananas with him when Andrew was eating breakfast, but it was a no go. At 11:00 I heated up a small bottle and tried it to see if he'd fight me. I almost cried with joy when he lunged for the bottle. He sucked it down and I nursed him a little so he'd take a nap. He took an almost 3 hour nap and I was thrilled.  A while after he got up we heated up another bottle and I tried feeding him again.  Yet again he took it.

A couple hours later when it was naptime again I heated up a small bottle and J tried feeding him. He took it with little resistance and went down for a nap.  To say I was relieved was an understatement.  He'd taken 4 bottles for us, which was more than he'd taken in the past two weeks combined.

I heated up a small bottle before bed, but he didn't want it. He was tired so I gave in and nursed him. He didn't eat all that much so I think he just wanted the comfort.  He slept from 8:30  until almost 4:30 this morning. I went and nursed him quickly and had him back down within 15 minutes.    I got him up at 7:00 this morning and he was all smiles.

Yes, there is a bunch of crap in  his crib and I need to take those stuffed animals out now that he's rolling around in there.

I nursed him and got the boys ready to daycare.  I dropped them off and went over everything with Andrea to let her know how the weekend went.  I left four 3 oz bottles plus an additional 2.5 oz for him and said a little prayer that he would take some of it.  I just sent Andrea a text and got this:

To say I'm relieved is the understatement of the year.  8.5 oz is more than he had Thursday and Friday at daycare combined.  I'm not going to claim victory just yet, but maybe, just maybe we have won the battle of wills with our 6 month old and gotten him back on track with eating during the day.  Only time will tell...

Perfect(ly Frustrating)

So today we had Elliot's 6 month well check.I went in to it with the hopes that maybe we would find out there is a reason for his sudden aversion to taking bottles.  When the nurse took us back to the exam room to start everything she asked if we had any concerns. Normally I don't have anything, but this time I chimed right in with "He won't eat."  I elaborated that he nurses just fine, but he has started to refuse bottles and is not eating much during the day.

She took her notes and then went about getting all of Elliot's measurements:

Weight: 17 lbs 3.6 oz - 43rd percentile
Height: 27.5" - 84th percentile
Head - 17" - 44th percentile

So he is growing just fine and there is nothing to be concerned about there.

My rolly poly little guy

Then Dr. Graham came in to do his exam and we started to talk about my concerns with the not eating.  He felt and listened to his belly, felt and looked at his gums, looked in his ears and did some general observing.  The good news?  He's perfect and there is nothing physically wrong that he can see that's causing Elliot to refuse to eat.  The bad news?  There is nothing that he can see that's causing Elliot to refuse to eat. So he's perfect and it's perfectly frustrating.

We talked about how we've been trying some solids and Elliot is not receptive in the least. I admitted that I haven't been very consistent because it's frustrating when he refuses to even let me get the spoon to his mouth.  I have tried multiple times and he has not taken to it AT ALL.  I'm not sure if he's even swallowed one bit of food.

This wouldn't be a concern to me IF he was getting enough milk during the day, but he's not.  I know first foods are "practice" and he should be continuing to get his nutrition from breastmilk, but therein lies the problem. He's refusing to drink the milk during the day.  I'm at a loss. I just don't get how he goes from taking a bottle with no issue whatsoever to just downright refusing to even let us get it near him.  I've googled, I've talked to other moms, I've asked thoughts and opinions and advice.

On the way home from the appt we stopped at Target and I bought two different training cups/sippys and every baby food on the shelf (carrots, green beans, sweet potatoes, bananas, apples, pears, and prunes).  Elliot was asleep when we got home so I let him nap, but when he woke up I nursed him (he hadn't eaten since 7:00 AM and it was 2:00 already) and then decided to try some pears with him.  He wouldn't even take one bite. I got some in his mouth and he made a face and spit them out.  I put a little water in a sippy just to see if he would take a little fluid from it and he just flung it around the tray.   I pretty much just got this look from him:

So right now I'm at a loss. I don't know how to get him to drink more milk during the day and I don't know how to get him to be receptive to food. I thought by now he'd be putting everything in sight in his mouth, but he doesn't.

I don't know, I'm just rambling. Exhaustion does that to me.

And now he's crying so I'm going to go nurse him so he at least gets some nutrition today...

6 Months!

That's right. Somehow it has been 6 months since Elliot made his dramatic  (and fast!) entrance into our lives. His 6 month well check is on Wednesday, so I won't have his stats until then, but one thing I know for certain is that we don't have to worry about him not getting enough to eat. My roly poly little guy is just that - roly poly  :)

One thing I AM worried about is his current bottle strike that he's been on. He's done this a few other times but it's normally only lasted a couple days. We are on a week of him fighting bottles and downright refusing to take one half the time.  Our normal bedtime routine has consisted of him getting a bottle of pumped milk and then nursing. This past week he has cried when he sees the bottle and I've just nursed him instead..

My mom is watching the boys today while our daycare is closed for vacation and I am beyond stressed that he is going to give her a hard time.  I made sure to top him off before I left this morning, but he'll still need to eat at some point. I haven't gotten any messages from her besides saying he went down for a nap, but I'm about to check on him to make sure  he's doing ok. That and I need to make sure Andrew isn't being too much to handle.

My mom will be helping me out tonight while J is out of town for his grandmother's funeral (more on that later) and I'm hoping he's back tomorrow night so I'll have some help Wednesday morning.

Anyway, Elliot is growing like a weed, is as sweet as ever, and is a beautiful little baby that I am so blessed to call my own.  I love this little guy:

Happy Valentine's Day

I've never been a huge fan of valentine's day since there is just way too much pressure to come up with some great romantic gesture.  Now that we have kids I find it a little more enjoyable because now I get to dress up the boys and get cute videos like this:

I dressed Elliot up in the same little outfit that I had Andrew in for his first v-day:

I didn't have the funny striped hat for Andrew, though.  :)

I got a cute little rosebush, some candies and the traditional homemade card from J and the boys:

And I got him those Valentine's cakes, the Reese's hearts and some bubble bath and champagne.  ;)

I'm guessing we'll have a nice low key night in and have our little celebration after the boys go to bed.  No fancy restaurant and high priced flowers needed.  Next weekend we'll have a date night when my mother-in-law is in town to watch the boys.  I'm kind of happy to delay it so we don't have to deal with the crowds this weekend.  Plus I'm finally getting a haircut next Saturday so at least I'll look nice.

Weekend Recap

Another weekend that went way too fast.  Since I have a lot of work to do today I'm just going to do a quick photo dump.

Friday we went to dinner with some friends and got home later than the boy's normal bathtime, so we combined both of them into one tub:

That night we were pleasantly surprised to have Elliot sleep over 10 hours.  Saturday morning he had me up at 7:00 so we hung out watching some Olympics.

Andrew had an afternoon with his daddy and they went to the Fireman's Museum and the park:

We took Andrew to get his 3rd professional haircut he he was an absolute rockstar and didn't shed a single tear:

We met some friends out for dinner on Saturday and I was so glad Andi was able to meet Elliot:

Saturday night Elliot again slept 10+ hours and then yesterday he took a 3 hour nap (which is unheard of - Saturday the longest he ever napped was 40 mins).  I took Andrew to Walmart with me while Elliot napped and then the four of us went over to the park - Andrew on the back of J's bike and Elliot in the stroller.  They played on the swings for a while:

and Elliot and I had some bonding time:

Last night Elliot slept just over 9 hours, so not as good as the previous two nights, but still pretty damn good.  He woke up right when my alarm went off so it was perfect timing.

Now here we are back at Monday and trying to make it through another week. I am so looking forward to next Monday when I have the day off (President's Day) and the boys will be in daycare so I can actually get some stuff done around the house.  Just have to make it through these five days...

Am I In There?

I've been taking a picture a day of both Elliot and Andrew and collecting them in separate albums on facebook. My goal is to capture a picture a day for the entire year.  I know some people I'm friends with on there might get sick of seeing pictures every day of my kids, but oh well.

Anyway, yesterday I posted this picture of Elliot:

Soon after, my mom commented "I am seeing more & more of you in Elliot as time goes on."

Since he was born we have been trying to decide who he looks like. With Andrew it was a no-brainer - he came out looking like a miniature version of his daddy.  As he's grown some people have said they are starting to see some of me in him, but to me Andrew is still all daddy (except those blue eyes).

Elliot has been a different story.  As soon as I saw him one of my first thoughts was "Who do you look like?".  When he was an itty bitty I saw some resemblance between him and Andrew, especially when his eyes were closed. As he's grown I feel like he is changing.  They have some of the same features, but his big brown eyes and his fuzzy brown hair are so different from Andrew's blue eyes and blond duck fluff that he had at this age.  They do have the same little round head, though.  :)

I would like to think that Elliot is starting to look more like me. I mean, after 18 combined months of pregnancy I would like to at least have one kid that looks like me!

I'll have to go home and see if I have any baby pictures of me. Being that I'm the third child in my family there were not nearly as many baby pictures taken of me as there were of my older sisters.  And since that wasn't the digital age pictures weren't as easy as they are today.  But here I am at 37:

What do you think?  Is my second little munchkin going to take after his mommy?  I guess only time will tell.

Brothers

When I was 12 weeks pregnant with Elliot and we found out we were having another boy I got so excited.  I know it is possible that boy and girl siblings can be extremely close.  I have many friends with brothers who are very close and I have several friends with boys and girls and I see them being close as well. I just figured that two little boys would be the best of friends.

When we brought Elliot home my hopes were somewhat dashed by Andrew's reaction.  He didn't want to touch him and you can be damn sure that he didn't want to sit with him or hold him.  It made me a little sad and I got a little emotional when I saw how adamant he was about not being anywhere near his baby brother.

As time went on he got more comfortable with Elliot. We still had trouble getting him to sit with Elliot for pictures (our Christmas pictures were a pretty big fail) but he would always ask where Elliot was if he couldn't readily see him and he loved to pat his head.

Fast forward to now and I'm starting to see the love that he has for his baby brother. When Elliot wakes up from a nap and starts fussing in the crib Andrew will exclaim "Elliot's crying!  Let's go find him!".  Then he'll go running into Elliot's room and yell "There he is!".

Yesterday I put Elliot in his crib so I could fold his laundry and put it away while still talking to him.  After a minute Andrew came into the room to find his brother.  He climbed up on the side of the crib to look at him and said "I get in there.".  So I picked him up and set him in there, telling him that he had to just sit and not jump because his baby brother was there.  For the rest of the time that I was folding laundry he sat in there giving toys to Elliot and being sweet:

When Andrew is nearby Elliot can't take his eyes off of him.

He'll stare at him and start laughing when Andrew does something silly. It warms my heart to see the big smiles and hear the little giggles that Andrew gets out of him.

There's a part of me that can't wait for Elliot to grow up more so he can actually play with Andrew.  The other part of me doesn't want him to grow too quickly since he is my baby and I don't want it to pass by too fast.  I'm enjoying this time with my little guys.  Yesterday afternoon when I was sitting on the floor holding Elliot and Andrew walked over and gave him a big hug before crawling into my lap as well, I couldn't help but smile.  I just hope that as the years go by they remain close and always have this kind of love for each other.

My sweet boys.