The Fun of Jaundice

Jaundice is something new and exciting that we're dealing with this go 'round.  It's funny because I swear Andrew was more yellow than Elliot is, but his numbers were fine and Elliot's weren't.  When we were still in the hospital his jumped from 7.5 to 11.5 so before we could leave we had to get a photo therapy light to take home with us.  His numbers aren't dangerously high, but apparently they were high enough to warrant a little extra precaution.

Chillin' on the bili light

On Monday we had to take Elliot to the pedi to have a heel stick so they could run the labs again and see how we are doing.  I had high hopes that maybe they would have gone down because he'd been nursing (and pooping!) like a champ.  Thank god J went with me so he could hold Elliot during the heel stick because it was awful. Hearing him crying and screaming like that had me in tears.  My poor little baby  :(   His weight was at 6 lbs 14 oz, so he was only down 10 oz from birth weight at two days old.

We made another appt for Wednesday and I was really hoping maybe we wouldn't have to go to it. They didn't call with the results like Dr. Graham said they would so I called the office Wednesday morning.  The nurse said they had the results and Dr. Graham said he would go over them with us at the appt.  So off we went to another pedi appt at four days old.  His bili had gone up to 14.8. Damn.  I thought maybe we wouldn't need another heel stick, but unfortunately that wasn't the case. This time Elliot was a champ and barely cried (so neither did I).  Dr. Graham really thought that his number would be down to 13 or so based on just looking at him. He said they'd call with the results this time but to be on the safe side we'd keep him on the lights for another 48 hours. (Oh, and he gained 3.5 ounces in two days and was up to 7 lbs 1.5 oz).

Yeah, I wouldn't like it either!

We got him home and back on the light. I was nursing him when the nurse called with the results.  Up to 15.9. Double damn.  So we had to make another appt for today for yet another heel stick.  Ugh.

A little family lounge time

We have been much more diligent about keeping him on the light these last two days because I do NOT want to have to go through yet another check.  Today's was just as bad as Monday's with the crying. I handled it a little better, but it's still so hard to see your little tiny baby in distress.  We didn't get a weight check today so I'm not sure what he is up to, but the kid can eat so he has to be gaining.

Speaking of which, I can hear the little guy starting to stir so it's time to go feed him.  I want him to eat as much as possible to flush all this bilirubin out of him.  Keep your fingers crossed that the light and the nursing are doing their job and we get good results today!

Hospital Pictures

Here are some of the pictures that were taken of Elliot by Bella Baby Photography in the hospital.  We're having actual newborn pictures done tomorrow by our photographer, but I'm tempted to buy at least one of these since these are the only newborn pics we did of Andrew and I'd love to have one of these for comparison (we used the same green blanket for both of them).

These ones are so cute that I can't wait to see what Selena will do for us tomorrow!

Introducing...

Elliot Martin.

It's funny, I had almost resigned myself to the fact that I might have to go the induction route because he didn't seem to want to come.  Well, that all changed less than 12 hours after I posted about the possible induction.

Friday night we went to bed a little after 11:00. I was just settling down and hoping to fall asleep when I felt a pop.  I laid there for a minute waiting to see if anything was happening.  When I shifted around I felt the fluid start to gush.  I said "Oh shit!" under my breath and ran for the bathroom.  This was at 11:28 PM. The clear fluid gushing out confirmed my suspicion that my water had just broken. I put a new pad on and climbed back in bed, telling J that my water had just broken, but I wasn't having contractions yet.

I went ahead and called my mom to give her the heads up so she could head this way to watch Andrew, but I got her voicemail. I felt bad calling people at 11:30 at night, but we needed to figure something out. I then called Andrea (daycare provider) in case my mom couldn't be reached, but I got her voicemail, too.  So I sent a text to my friend, Karen, letting her know my water broke, but didn't get a response from her, either.

Finally at 11:50 I called my dad thinking maybe he would answer, and he did - albeit sleepily.  I told him I was in labor and he said ok they'd get it figured out.  Right after I got off the phone with him the first contraction hit.  10 mins later my mom called me back and when I was on the phone with her the second one hit - so the first two were 10 mins apart. She said she would be on the road in 10 mins and be here in two hours.  I thought I would be able to hold out until she got here since the contractions weren't bad yet.  I changed pajama pants and put yet another new pad on and we settled in the bed (me on a towel) and were watching "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days" while I waited for the next contraction.  The next two came at 15 minute intervals so I figured we would be good waiting for my mom. And then the next one came only 8 mins later.  Uh oh.

J called our friend Chris just to see if he might be able to come over to sit and wait for my mom to get here in case we had to head to the hospital.  The next contraction came after 7 mins and the one after that was down to 5 mins. I hurried up and called the answering service for the doctor and she told me she'd have Dr. Gregory call me back.  I knew I'd seen Dr. Gregory at some point during this pregnancy but couldn't quite remember which one she was. Anyway, by the time she called me back a few mins later the contractions were to the point that they were one after another with barely a break in between. I couldn't believe that that was possible - for them to intensify THAT fast.  She told us to get to the hospital and she was calling ahead to let them know we were coming.

J called Chris to get him over here and I threw the rest of the stuff I needed in my bag even though I was doubled over in pain.  I got to the car and we headed to the hospital. I was practically climbing the walls in the car because it hurt so much. Halfway there I started feeling like I needed to push. J put the pedal to the metal and got us there in record time.  I got out of the car and went in through the emergency entrance just as another contraction hit. This one dropped me to my hands and knees as I was trying to get my insurance card and license out of my wallet. I was on the floor swaying back and forth on my hands and knees trying to get through the contraction and the security guard who had a wheelchair for me was trying to get me to get up into the chair. I yelled "Hold on!" and waited for the contraction to pass.

They got me up in the chair and he wheeled me over to the one door waiting for the nurse to come get me.  I was writhing all over the chair in pain and he looked nervous. Finally the nurse got there and started wheeling me towards the elevator. I told her I felt like I needed to push and she yelled for a nearby EMT to come with us and took off running with me towards the elevator.  I was banging on the wall of the elevator on the short ride to the 3rd floor. She ran me through the halls to the delivery room yelling "She feels like she needs to push!".

She got me in the room and got me stripped down and into a gown. I was able to get on the bed and the one nurse went to check me - in the midst of another contraction.  She looked at me, said I was fully dilated and then said the words I dreaded - "There's no time for an epidural.". I almost burst into tears right there.  The nurses kept trying to calm me and talk me through the contractions, telling me to breathe and to try to relax. I kept saying "I can't do this!" and begging for an epidural.  J made it up to the room right then and grabbed my hand.  I looked at him and said "I can't do this." and he said yes I could. The contractions were awful. Every time I felt one coming on I would tense up and they would tell me to relax and breathe. Amazingly I didn't swear at anyone.  Dr. Gregory got there and checked me and said since the baby was still pretty high there might be time for an epi. I don't know if she was serious or just telling me that to calm me down, but I held out the hope that I would get some relief.  J was trying to fill out the consent form (without his glasses) and I was struggling through multiple contractions.

They were telling me to push and I didn't want to. I wanted the damn epi!  Eventually I had to push because it hurt too much not to. But I didn't want to push him out, just push enough to relieve the pressure and pain.  All of a sudden on the next contraction when I pushed his head came out and all of the nurses were yelling for nursery to be ready. At that point I knew an epidural was not going to happen.  On the next contraction as soon as it hit Dr. Gregory cut me a little (I had an episiotomy with Andrew and the scar tissue was not stretching and allowing this little guy to come) and I pushed.  All the nurses and J were yelling encouragements to me. I bared down as hard as possible, heard "He's coming!" and felt him slide out.  The plopped him up on my chest and I looked down at him in complete disbelief. He was screaming away and was amazingly pink.  I just kept saying "I can't believe that just happened.".  The time was 2:08 AM - 2 hours and 40 mins from the time my water broke. Holy hell.

After some skin to skin time they took him and cleaned him up before weighing him and getting him back to me to nurse.  He got a perfect 10 on his Apgars (a first for Dr. Gregory) and when he went to nurse he latched right on.  I was just looking down at him in complete disbelief.  7 lbs 8 oz and 20" of amazingness.

He is perfect. He has my fingers and toes (Andrew has his daddy's), and J's small head.  At first I didn't see any resemblance between him and Andrew, but the more I look at him the more I see it.  He has dark hair and we aren't quite sure what color his eyes are, but he is beautiful.

We came home yesterday with a bili blanket due to some jaundice, but I'll get into that later. Right now I just want to go enjoy this little person.

I still can't believe it happened.

The Final Countdown (39 Weeks)

Here I am - 39 weeks and STILL pregnant.  Ugh.

I know I shouldn't complain. I've had a healthy pregnancy and if he isn't ready to come then he isn't ready.  But even though I shouldn't complain I want him OUT!  

I'm cursing the fact that my doctors have gotten my hopes up with their "You probably won't make it to your next appointment" statements.  I wish they'd just said "See you next week!".  

I know I'm not due until next Friday, but if he is still hanging around he is going to be booted on Wednesday. (Which reminds me I need to call the doctor today).  I really really REALLY don't want to go through an induction. I know we could (and maybe should) let him go until he's ready, but we want him out before September 1st due to school cutoff dates (yes I know that boys mature slower and we should hold him back an extra year so he won't be the youngest in his class - I've heard it all).  

I don't know, I guess I got spoiled with Andrew's slightly early arrival and easy delivery and it got my hopes up that this would be a repeat performance.  For someone as impatient as myself this waiting game is absolute torture.  Maybe I jinxed myself by actually being prepared and packing my hospital bag ahead of time so we weren't throwing shit in a bag in the middle of the night like with Andrew.  Maybe if I go unpack it he'll decide to come out??

Ok - before I go back to bouncing on my exercise ball and break out my breast pump for another attempt at natural labor induction here is my check for this week:

How far along? 39w0d and baby is the size of a small watermelon.  He should be 7 lbs or more and maybe 19-20  inches long at this point. His brain is still rapidly developing and his fingernails are probably growing past the ends of his fingers by now.

Weight loss/gain:  36 lbs.

Maternity clothes: Obviously yes.

Labor Signs:  Some extra discharge (I know - eww!), my hips still feel like they're about to fall out of the sockets and I've been getting what could be contractions, but not regularly.

Name: No more discussions this past week. The lists will be going with us to the hospital and we will make a decision then. We both decided we can't really pick a final name until we see the kid.

Sleep: Sleep has been pretty decent this week.  Of course I go to bed very anxious every night worried that my water will break in the middle of the night and I'll go into labor and we'll have to scramble to get someone here for Andrew.  Other than that I'm sleeping fine.

Best moment this week? I would say finding out that I've made more progress and getting the membrane sweep to hopefully jumpstart labor, but since there is NOTHING happening in that department....

Movement: Still moving, but it's slowing down since I assume he's running out of room in there. I've been feeling more hiccups this week from  him and they are super low. His head is WAY down there.

Food cravings:  I just can't seem to stop eating. I bought another watermelon this morning and can't wait to cut into that bad boy.

Belly button in or out?  In and it's going to stay there.

What I miss?  Being comfortable.

What I'm looking forward to?  This kid vacating the premises.

Milestones:  Still the most pregnant ever!

What I'm nervous about: That this kid is not going to go anywhere until he is evicted. I really don't want to go through an induction, but we really want  him out before the end of the month.

And this week's pictures.  Trying my hardest to get a picture where my face doesn't look so damn round:

And head on:

Wordless Wednesday ~ Musical Instruments

Still In There

After last Wednesday's appointment and finding out where I'm at I was all excited thinking this kid would be arriving any time.  Yeah, well it's five days later and he hasn't budged.

Every night when I go to bed I am all anxious because I really don't want my water to break in the middle of the night like it did with Andrew.  The only reason is because we'll have to figure out what to do with him.  My mom is going to come down to stay with him, but it's a two hour drive and I'm not calling her in the middle of the night to make the 100 mile drive.  Ideally I would like labor to start after Andrew is dropped off at daycare because then we know he's somewhere that he is comfortable until my mom can get here.

I had another appointment today. After waiting for an hour I got to see Dr. Evans and it was time for another check. I'm up to 4 cm and 80% effaced.  He is super low based on where she was picking up the heartbeat (and based on my lovely hip pain), but he's still in there.

She asked if we wanted to get an induction on the books and I said "Yes.".  So, if this little dude refuses to vacate the premises beforehand he will be facing an eviction next Wednesday.  She also offered to sweep my membranes in an effort to get things moving. I've heard it can be really uncomfortable, but I went for it and to be honest it wasn't that bad at all.

So now here I am - still waiting.  I'm having some slight cramping but so far that's it. Now I'm going to go finish vacuuming the house and then I'm going to walk over to pick Andrew up from daycare.  Maybe I should do some jumping jacks before I go???

Most Pregnant Ever - 38 Weeks

Yep, this is officially the most pregnant I have ever been.  With Andrew I never made it to 38 weeks.  I'll admit that a little part of me was hoping not to make it with this one, either, especially after my appointment on Wednesday.  Of course after that appointment J informed me that he needed to stay in until at least this afternoon because he has HazMat training at work today until 3:30 and will lose that certification if he misses it. Yeah, I know - priorities  :)

So anyway, here I am in the midst of the waiting game.  I've been working from home the last few days trying to take it easy. I do plan on going for a walk this afternoon to maybe get this show on the road.  I don't really want my water to break at the gym in the middle of an elliptical workout, but I kind of want to get things moving.

Then there is the other part of me that is freaking out about the fact that things could happen any time now.  The impact this will have on Andrew weighs heavily on my mind. I know he's not even 2.5 and he won't really remember not having a little brother, but I still worry. He's been our world for so long and now we're going to rock his.

Andrew has been awesome the last few days and it makes me love him even more (which I didn't even know was possible). He's been a rock star with the sleeping in his bed, he hasn't had any major tantrums (I know there will be many more to come, though), and he's just been so much fun.  Even though I worry about it I can't wait to see him as a big brother because he is going to be great.

Here he is last night reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" with J. He cracks me up  :)

So that's what's going on here.  Just waiting to see when things are going to get going.

How far along? 38w0d and baby is the size of a pumpkin. Or as pregnant chicken says - it's the size of a baby now.  He should be around 7 lbs and maybe 19-20  inches long at this point. He may have hair (Andrew had a little fuzz when born) and is currently swallowing proteins from the amniotic fluid and will produce some fun meconium for his first bowel movement.

Weight loss/gain:  My scale had me at 36 lbs. The doctor's scale had me at 34 lbs. I'm going with them  :)

Maternity clothes: Obviously yes.

Labor Signs:  Every once in a while when I'm walking around or standing my hips will feel like they are about to fall out of the sockets.  I know that's due to things spreading.  I've been having a lot of tightening across my belly and don't know if those are actual contractions since they aren't particularly painful, or if that's still just BH.  I never noticed any real contractions with Andrew until my water broke so I'm not sure what's going on.

Name: We quickly discussed it the other day. When I mentioned Elliot to J he said he doesn't mind it.  Not a ringing endorsement, but it's better than the "No!" I got any time I mentioned Owen.

Sleep: Sleep has been ok this week.  I wake up a lot, but for the most part I've been able to fall back to sleep. I'm trying to get as much as I can now because I know the exhaustion that is to come soon.

Best moment this week? Finding out that things are happening down there.  And the fact that Andrew has slept well in his bed 5 out of 6 nights.

Movement: Still quite a bit considering he should be running out of room in there.  I found out his spine is to the left of my belly, which explains why I feel most movement in the upper right area of it - that's where his legs/feet are and he likes to use them.

Food cravings:  Trying to eat as much produce as possible, but I keep breaking in to the cookies and sweets.  I kind of feel like I need to take advantage of being pregnant while I can so I can eat crap and have an excuse.  Yeah, that's healthy!

Belly button in or out?  In and it's going to stay there.

What I miss?  Not feeling like a whale.

What I'm looking forward to?  Maybe having a baby this weekend???  If not my next appt on Monday to see where things stand.

Milestones:  Most pregnant ever!

What I'm nervous about: Starting to get nervous about L&D.  Things went well with Andrew, but I was on the stupid IV pain meds so my memory is very hazy.  I am bypassing those this time and going straight for the epi.  I really just hope things progress as quickly and smoothly as they did with him.  I also worry about what we're doing about Andrew once things get started.  I hope my water doesn't break in the middle of the night like last time.  Hopefully it happens at a good time to be able to get someone here.

And here is the lovely 38 week belly:

And a front shot:

Things Are Happening

I had my second cervical check this morning.  I was hoping that I would have made some progress since last Wednesday when I was 1 cm and 50% effaced.  I didn't get to see my doctor since she's out this week, but Dr. Wilson was awesome and she sat and talked to me for a few minutes about second babies and how things are going.    If Dr. Evans can't deliver this little guy I hope I get Dr. Wilson.

Anyway, I measured at 36 cm (at almost 38 weeks) but she said that is fine and he probably dropped.  When she started the internal check she just said "Whoa!  His head is right there.".  I am 3 cm and 70% effaced and there is a bulge in the water that's right there on top of his head.  She jokingly said "I could totally break your water right now.", but she didn't since I'm not even 38 weeks (they don't induce before 39 weeks).

We discussed how things went when I delivered Andrew and when I gave her the details her comment was "You were made to have babies - you should have 4 or 5 more."  I guess since I had a pretty easy labor and delivery with him.

She said she didn't sweep my membranes, but she did "stir some stuff up down there" while checking me and I should expect some spotting later (so far there's none).  She said with most moms they say wait until contractions are 5 minutes apart for an hour, but based on my history and the speed with which things happened with Andrew if I get to where they are 7 or 8 minutes apart and I'm huffing through them I should head in.  My next appt is on Monday with Dr. Evans - we'll see if I make it to that one.

Tomorrow is where I was when Andrew was born. It would be kind of cool if things followed suit with this one, except for the fact that I am slightly panicked about it already being time.  Holy crap - we are going to have two kids soon!

At least I started my hospital bag ahead of time this time so I'm at least slightly prepared in that regard.  Daycare will be on call to watch Andrew if things happen quickly and my mom can't get down here in time.  I still worry so much about how this is going to impact him. I love that little troublemaker more than life and want to make sure this is a smooth transition.

Speaking of my little Dennis the Menace - he has been an absolute rockstar as far as sleeping in his big boy bed the past two nights.  I almost don't want to say anything and jinx it, but I'm so proud of my little dude.

So yeah - that's where we are right now.  I know I'll be on edge over the next week or so waiting for things to happen.  And praying that my water doesn't break at work!

Success... And Then Failure

This past weekend we started the daunting task of transitioning Andrew from the crib to his big boy bed.  The plan was to get him in there Friday night since he was home with me all day and I was able to keep him up.  We got the rails on the bed, but then I chickened out because I had gotten very little sleep the previous couple nights and I just didn't have it in me to deal with what I was sure would be a long night.  So into the crib he went (and I still got a shitty night's sleep).

Saturday he was again up for most of the day. Between our friend's son's birthday party and a trip to Sam's he got a 15 minute power nap in the car, but that was it. That night, even though I was still exhausted, we went for it.  I moved all of his crib buddies to his new bed and we placed some pillows along the bottom of the bed as a barrier.  All during the evening I kept talking about him sleeping in his big boy bed. We put him up there and he was going to town jumping around and laughing.

When it was bedtime I sat in the recliner in his room with him to read books. We got through two and then he copped down off my lap. I thought he was going to get another book, but he grabbed the stool and climbed up on the bed.  I asked if he wanted to go to bed and he just laughed.  So I did a final butt check, turned out the light, turned on the fan and started to rock him.  He kept complaining about his nose, but I didn't have any wipes in there. When I thought he was asleep I put him on the bed and ran next door to the nursery to get a wipe for his nose. Before I could get back in there he was already coming out the door.  Ugh.

This time J got him and sat in the recliner with him.  He rocked him for 15 minutes and once he started twitching he placed him on the bed.  I spent the next two hours obsessively watching the monitor to see if he was going to wake up yelling.

He moved around the bed, but he made it 11 hours through the night without a single peep. To say I was shocked is an understatement. I was convinced we would be up all night.

When he woke up I went and got him and told him how proud I was of him. I let him know he did such a great job and he was a big boy sleeping in his big boy bed.  I was feeling good.

Then last night happened.

He was in the bed at 9:00 and when we went to bed at 10:15 he was still snoozing. That lasted another hour and at 11:15 he was sitting up and yelling.  I went to check him since he drank so much before bed - I needed to make sure he wasn't soaked.  He wasn't so I rocked him for a while and had him back in the bed at 11:45. By midnight he was yelling again.  J went down this time because it looked like he was heading for the pillow barrier at the end of the bed. He rocked him for a while and on the monitor I saw him try to lay down with him in the bed. No dice. Andrew was yelling and crying.  I went down to get him some tylenol (he has a bit of a cold), but when I tried to walk away he freaked. He wanted me and me only.  So I took over and rocked him til he was out.  He was back in bed and I was upstairs at 1:00.  Unfortunately I had not slept at all up until this point due to my insomnia.  I may have dozed slightly when he started crying again at 3:00 AM.  That's when I threw in the towel.  We both went downstairs and I grabbed all his stuff and put it back in the crib.  J rocked him for a bit and put him down and  I could hear him crying.  J turned the volume on the monitor to the lowest setting and we let him cry it out.  He gave up after 10 mins and went to sleep.  I finally fell asleep close to 4:00, so I'm trying to function on two hours of sleep today.

To say I feel defeated is an understatement.  I was so hopeful that the great night we had on Saturday meant good things.  I know it's not going to happen overnight and it's most likely not going to be an easy transition.  I've just been feeling down about my parenting abilities lately and last night let all the wind out of my sails.  Between my not sleeping and his outbursts I am so exhausted, and I know that soon it is only going to be worse with a newborn in the house. It's giving me even more anxiety, which leads to even poorer sleep. It's a vicious cycle.

Our new plan of attack is to put him in the bed.  He will have one or two chances to settle himself and then he will be put back into the crib to cry it out.  We've already stupidly set the precedent that if he cries we'll come, so that's our fault and we have to break the habit.  And unfortunately he doesn't seem to dislike his crib, so the threat of having to go back to it probably isn't going to work, but it's all we've got right now.

Right now the only thing keeping me going is the hope that Saturday night is the norm and last night was an anomaly.  Now if only I could get J to stop snoring and could shut my mind off and get some sleep...

Full Term - 37 Weeks

Full term!  Whoa.

And guess how I am celebrating this milestone in my pregnancy?  By working from home for the day with my little munchkin who appears to have gotten pinkeye. Awesome.  Because if you remember correctly, the last time he got it, so did I.

I noticed when ho got home last night that his right eye was a little gooey. I kept wiping it out and it kept gooping up. Ugh.  I was hoping with the drops that maybe this morning he would wake up clear, but no such luck. It was puffy and crusted shut when I got him up.  I got it all wiped out with a warm washcloth and did my best to get some drops in there (which is really a two person job!).  Right now it doesn't look too bad and I was almost tempted to take him to daycare, but I know how contagious it is and I would be pissed if another parent sent their pinkeyed kid in so I kept him home.

So he's spending the day with me today while I attempt to do some work. Thank god for furlough Friday's since they are really slow (and my apologies to anyone who is being hit with those furloughs - I know it sucks). On the plus side I can keep him up all day so we can try to get him to sleep in his big boy bed tonight. We figure it might work better if he's really tired and not fighting going to bed.

Before I go entertain my spastic little munchkin, here is this week's check:

How far along? 37w0d and baby is the size of a winter melon.  He should be around 6.5 lbs and 10 inches long at this point. He's practicing breathing and sucking his thumb in there.

Weight loss/gain:  34 lbs still.  I guess working out four days this week kept the weight in check for once.

Maternity clothes: Obviously yes.

Symptoms:  More pressure and tightening and some lower back pain. Also the nice sensation that I got kicked in the lady bits with a steel toed boot. I'm guessing his head is bouncing off of something in there and causing that lovely feeling.

Sex (of baby):  It's a BOY!!!

Name: No progress.

Sleep: Sleep sucks even more this week. I don't know if it's pregnancy insomnia or what. Even benedryl hasn't helped.  J and his snoring aren't doing me any favors, either.

Best moment this week? Another appointment where I got to hear the little guy's heartbeat and finding out that I'm making a little progress.

Movement: All the time. And I noticed the first hiccups this week. Andrew seemed to have them all the time and I hadn't noticed them with this one, but maybe I just hadn't been paying attention.

Food cravings:  Still loving the produce and it has done wonders for my bowels.  I swear cherries are the magic food.

Belly button in or out?  In, but weird and shallow with a funny little ridge still.

What I miss?  Running. And being able to move without groaning. And being able to go more than 30 mins without peeing.

What I'm looking forward to?  My next appointment on Wednesday to see if I make any more progress.  I'll need to get out and get walking to see if I can move things along.

Milestones:  Full term!

What I'm nervous about:  The fact that we are not prepared.  Andrew is still in the crib, the room that the baby will be sleeping in for the first 12 or so weeks is full of tools and crap for the railing for the stairs, we STILL don't have a name picked out and I just generally do not feel prepared.  That and I'm dreading to utter exhaustion that I know is coming.

Here I am this morning. Please excuse my horrid appearance - I haven't slept well in days and I'm at home with my pinkeyed munchkin today so I didn't bother beautifying myself: