I need to start playing the lottery

I know this is completely not baby related, but it's my blog and not everything is about my little plum.  Sometimes mommy just needs to vent  :)

While at the gym last night I had to deal with yet another annoying gym patron, and it really got me thinking.  If I had $1M I would totally open my own gym and not let the following people in.

1. The man who walks into the gym surrounded by a huge cloud of cologne.  Why do guys feel the need to bathe in that stuff before heading in for a workout?  And if he didn't just put it on and that is the remnants of what he put on earlier that day - well I feel sorry for the people that had to be around him all day.  Pungent cologne mixed with the hot sweaty atmosphere inside the gym adds up to a not pleasant workout experience for anyone.
2. The teeny-bopper who spends her entire "workout" (I use that term loosely) with a cell phone glued to her ear while talking and giggling loudly.  This person is especially annoying if she is taking up a treadmill and walking a 20 minute mile. Seriously? Go do that outside and leave the treadmill for someone who is actually going to break a sweat.
3. The chick who comes in with her hair all done, wearing dangly earrings, and has her ipod and water bottle perfectly coordinated to match her cute little outfit. Again, I can't take this person seriously as far as someone who is interested in working out. They are clearly at the gym to look cute for the meatheads that are pumping iron.
4. The dude who tries to look all important and is constantly talking on his phone so loudly that to drown him out I have to crank the volume on my ipod and risk permanent hearing damage.  Really dude?  If you were that important of a person you would probably make enough money to not have to come to this piddly little gym to get in your workout.  Nice try.
5. The grunters.  These are the guys that sound like they are in the middle of a pretty serious bowel movement while they are over there lifting weights.  I realize that sometimes a little noise is necessary, but if you really have to grunt that loud then maybe you should back off a few pounds on the weights before you pop something.  More often than not I think they are just trying to look like studs and draw the attention of patron #3.
6. The hoverers.  This is the gym patron who will stand there and stare at the people on the treadmills waiting for one of them to get off so they can use it. This patron is especially annoying if they then get on the treadmill and walk at a pace of less than 3 MPH.  If you are going to walk at a snails pace you might as well do it outside in the fresh air instead of having to breathe in the cologne fumes of dude #1.
7. The excessive sweaters who clearly can't read the sign that tells them to wipe down the equipment after use.  There is nothing more disgusting than going to use some equipment and finding it covered in a puddle of someone else's body fluids.  Those bottles of disinfectant and the towels are there for a reason - use them.
8. The karaoke singers.  I know lots of people listen to music while working out - myself included.  I don't have a problem with that.  It's when that person decides to start belting out that Madonna song that they are listening to that I start to have a problem.  I realize you are really into your tunes, but please spare the rest of us your tone deaf warbling.

Those are just a few of my pet peeves at the gym.  I would blame it on the hormones making me more moody and less patient, but in all honesty that's just me - hormones or no.  But until I hit the Powerball jackpot and have the funds to open my exclusive gym I'll just have to suck it up and workout with these people every day.  Fingers crossed that my hormones don't get the better of me and I don't start snapping everyone who annoys me with a towel.