I feel like I am always in a rush. Every morning is a rush to get ready, to get everyone up and dressed and fed and out the door. At work I'm rushing to get everything done so I can get out in time to rush through a quick workout at the gym before picking up the boys. Then it's a rush to get dinner ready, to get them fed and in the bath and ready for bed. Then I have to get everything ready for the next day to start it all over again.
In all my rushing I feel like I am missing out on some things. That I'm not taking the time to really see life as it's happening, because I'm just trying to get through it and make it to the next day. If I keep that up then before I know it the boys will be out of the house and off to college and I will have missed out on all the little things that make this crazy life so wonderful.
This past weekend taught me to relax. To be in the moment and stop always worrying about little things that in the grand scheme of life really don't matter.
On Sunday Elliot was down for a nap. Normally I would use that time to get some things done around the house that I can't do while he's underfoot. I started to clean some stuff up in the kitchen, but then I heard Andrew's little voice say "We go outside!". He ran to the back door so I followed him out there. It had started sprinkling, but he didn't care. We stood on the back deck - me leaning against the wall watching and him running back and forth between the plants, talking to me about the flowers and pointing out every thing he could see. Sitting out there were some of the big bubble wands that we got him for Easter. I opened them up and we started blowing bubbles. He would blow some and exclaim "Look what I made, mommy!". Or if I blew some it was "Look what you made, mommy!". We would watch them float away, getting bounced around by the falling rain. Pretty soon he was soaked since he was standing out in the middle of the deck instead of under the overhang with me. He didn't care one bit and truth be told, I was enjoying watching his excitement so much that I didn't care, either.
After a while I decided that I should probably run to the store while Elliot was still napping. I asked Andrew if he wanted to come to the store with me or stay home with daddy. I knew the trip would be easier and faster on my own, but I was kind of glad when he said "I want to go to the store with mommy." We went inside and I dried him off and changed his clothes. I put some sandals on him since it was still raining and didn't want to get his sneakers soaked, then we headed out. We chatted the whole way to the store and I smiled just listening to the things that he says. When we got there I thought about getting the umbrella out, but decided it would be more of a pain trying to deal with it than it was worth. It's not like we were going anywhere and it mattered if we got wet. Instead I grabbed his hand and said "Run run run!". We took off across the parking lot and I will never forget the look of pure joy on his face or the sound of his giggles as we ran through the rain and stomped in puddles. Thinking about it right now is making me smile.
That afternoon was a good lesson for me. My house might not always be spotless and things might not get done as quickly as I would like, but that doesn't matter. When I'm old and grey I won't look back and reminisce about my clean house or my punctuality. I'll think back to time spent with my boys. I'll remember running through the rain with my giggling three year old and I'll smile all over again...