Thursday, April 12, 2012

Enjoying Where We Are

That's what I'm trying to do right now - enjoy where we are right now in life.  There are so many things that stress me out on a daily basis. So many 'what ifs' and 'should'ves' that if I let myself think about too much will just add more stress.

Most of it centers around the munchkin (of course).  Every day I question if we are doing everything right.  He's over a year old and still eating purees, drinking from a bottle, and not walking.  I know he won't be eating purees forever and eventually he'll stop the pukefest that we've been dealing with the last few days, but it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.  One day he'll go to town on some ham or chicken tenders, and the next he is gagging on it and throwing up all over the place.  Fun times.

And he'll drink water out of a sippy cup like a champ, but if I put milk in there he turns up his nose at it and cries.  So much for my goal of having him off the bottle by 12 months. Yeah, that ship has sailed.

And walking?  No interest whatsoever.  I swear that is always the first question out of someone's mouth whenever they meet him for the first time - "So, is he walking yet?".  Then I deal with their surprised responses when I say no.

Of course I bring a lot of this on myself by going on the message boards and seeing what other babies are doing.  Oh, your 10 month old just ate a sandwich and washed it down with a sippy cup of milk?  That's awesome -  my 12 month old just puked on a hot dog chunk and threw his sippy of milk on the floor.  Your 9 month old just ran a lap around your house?  Fantastic.  My kid would rather crawl around and bulldoze his way over things than get up on two feet and take a step.


I know I need to stop. I know that developmentally Andrew is just fine.  He is not delayed by any stretch of the imagination. Even my pediatrician sister has assured me that I have absolutely nothing to worry about.

But if I get right down to it it's not really him that I'm worried about. It's me and my abilities as a mom (or lack thereof).  I know we are always our own worst critics and other people might think I am doing a fine job, but I always have that nagging thought in the back of my head.  "What if I am doing this wrong?"  "What if I'm screwing him up?".

He's a happy and healthy kid so I don't think I am doing any irreparable damage by not knowing what the F&@% I am doing.  But I still worry.  I guess I should get used to that, though.  I didn't think about it when I signed up for this parenting gig, but I'm pretty sure for the rest of my days I will always worry about something when it comes to Andrew.

He couldn't be more worth it.


  1. You're a great mom. And I think half of what I read on message boards is fluffed up. {Soon I'll bet that someone will say their one year old is potty trained}

    E has taken steps {rarely}, but her main mode of getting around is crawling. The knees of her pants prove this.

  2. B may be eating but sippy...nope...walking...nope. With the second you'll stress less. I almost don't want her walking yet. It's easier when she doesn't:) You're a great mom!

  3. You are doing just fine, he is healthy and thriving. Lots of babies don't walk until later. My husband didn't walk until 15 months.

    I was actually thinking about this last night, laying in bed and not being able to sleep. The worst part about parenting is not knowing the results. Since the results don't show until several years later, but I think you are doing a fantastic job, so keep up the good work!

    I also agree with Natalie on the puffed up part.

  4. oh my worst days i remember that my kid already has a head start over half of her peers. i care, feed, bathe, engage and shower her with love/oppurtunties. lots of kids dont get that. and if i'm slacking, she's also got a dad, grandaprents and daycare to boost her up. ;P

  5. I was really stressed about the bottle, even when my pediatrician told me it was no big deal if my 1-year-old (born April 5) was still having a bottle or two a day. We kept offering her milk in a sippy and she'd take a sip and spit it out, then throw the cup. (Same as yours, she'd drink water from it just fine.) And then one day she just drank milk from it like it was no big deal. She just did it when she was ready. It had nothing to do with me at all.

    The Bump is notorious for mothers with genius children (not all of them, obviously, but I'm confident much of what their children can do is exaggerated.) Stop comparing is the number 1 rule of parenting, even though I know it's tough. You're doing a great job, seriously!

  6. Thanks ladies! In my heart I know that Andrew is fine, it's just my head that messes with me. And I guess I don't want people judging me for things that I am/am not doing. I know I shouldn't care what other people think as long as he is happy and healthy, but sometimes it's hard to ignore.

    And you're right about The Bump and people exaggerating. There were some people on there that I had to just roll my eyes at because I knew they had to be full of shit :)

  7. Just realize you are doing a great job and as a mother, I think we will always worry if we are doing something wrong or not good enough. If it's not him walking yet it will be something else. I bet one day he will be interested in the whole walking thing and then take off! Don't worry about what other people say/ long as your baby is healthy and happy then you obviously have done something right!