That's what I'm trying to do right now - enjoy where we are right now in life. There are so many things that stress me out on a daily basis. So many 'what ifs' and 'should'ves' that if I let myself think about too much will just add more stress.
Most of it centers around the munchkin (of course). Every day I question if we are doing everything right. He's over a year old and still eating purees, drinking from a bottle, and not walking. I know he won't be eating purees forever and eventually he'll stop the pukefest that we've been dealing with the last few days, but it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. One day he'll go to town on some ham or chicken tenders, and the next he is gagging on it and throwing up all over the place. Fun times.
And he'll drink water out of a sippy cup like a champ, but if I put milk in there he turns up his nose at it and cries. So much for my goal of having him off the bottle by 12 months. Yeah, that ship has sailed.
And walking? No interest whatsoever. I swear that is always the first question out of someone's mouth whenever they meet him for the first time - "So, is he walking yet?". Then I deal with their surprised responses when I say no.
Of course I bring a lot of this on myself by going on the message boards and seeing what other babies are doing. Oh, your 10 month old just ate a sandwich and washed it down with a sippy cup of milk? That's awesome - my 12 month old just puked on a hot dog chunk and threw his sippy of milk on the floor. Your 9 month old just ran a lap around your house? Fantastic. My kid would rather crawl around and bulldoze his way over things than get up on two feet and take a step.
I know I need to stop. I know that developmentally Andrew is just fine. He is not delayed by any stretch of the imagination. Even my pediatrician sister has assured me that I have absolutely nothing to worry about.
But if I get right down to it it's not really him that I'm worried about. It's me and my abilities as a mom (or lack thereof). I know we are always our own worst critics and other people might think I am doing a fine job, but I always have that nagging thought in the back of my head. "What if I am doing this wrong?" "What if I'm screwing him up?".
He's a happy and healthy kid so I don't think I am doing any irreparable damage by not knowing what the F&@% I am doing. But I still worry. I guess I should get used to that, though. I didn't think about it when I signed up for this parenting gig, but I'm pretty sure for the rest of my days I will always worry about something when it comes to Andrew.
He couldn't be more worth it.