Epic fail

So, I decided to use the Milk of Magnesia last night.  I took the maximum recommended dosage (4 tbsp) and was ready for a night of relief based on what some other bumpies said on the message board.  Not so much.  So for dinner I had a nice big bowl of raisin bran, figuring that would jump start something.  Sure it did, some hideous gas pains.  Stellar.  My abdomen was so hard and distended that I already looked about 5 months pregnant. Ugh.

After rolling around on the couch and moaning while watching some highly entertaining episodes of 'Renovation Realities' (idiots trying to do their own home renovations - funny stuff), J took some pity on me and suggested mineral oil.  I of course ran to check google to make sure I could take it.  Go figure, it's not recommended for pregnant women since it can make it so you don't absorb the nutrients you need.  Screw it. I was only going to take one dose, not use it on an ongoing basis.  And desperate times call for desperate measures. 

I took a 3 tbsp dose before bed. Let me just say that stuff is nasty. It doesn't taste bad, but it's so thick and kind of tastes like you are drinking cooking oil. Gross. I washed it down with a big gulp of water and headed to bed hoping for the best.  It said it should generally work in 6 to 8 hours so I was excited to wake up to some relief finally.

This morning brought nothing. I give up.  Of course now I am afraid to venture too far from some bathroom facilities on the off chance that any part of my combo kicks in at any time.  It's gonna be a great weekend. And yes, that is sarcasm.