Friday, April 29, 2011

A better day


Yesterday was rough.  Exhaustion has taken a toll and I felt like a zombie.  I'd been a little emotional (ok a lot emotional) and felt over my head.  Some friends brought us some dinner, a huge bag of clothes for little dude, and a bag of little books for him.  I was so grateful for everything - especially the food since my brain wasn't functional enough to think about dinner.

After dinner I was on the bump reading posts and I commented to J that apparently I am the only mommy who doesn't have her baby sleeping in the crib yet and that I feel like I am screwing up as a mom.  He told me that I need to stay off of the message boards and not to worry about what everyone else is doing. We are doing just fine, our baby is happy and healthy, and we shouldn't compare ourselves to others. 

Andrew was snoozing propped up in his boppy pillow (I know they tell you not to do that, but he was so swaddled he couldn't move and he loves that thing) and J came over on the couch next to me and we cuddled for a while.  He was able to calm me down and I felt a lot better.

We gave Andrew a bath:



Now he's actually starting to like the tub and didn't make a peep the whole time. We got him all snuggled in his jammies, then I fed him til he passed out and we got him ready for bed.  We put him in the bassinet and I kept my fingers crossed that he would actually sleep in it.

We went to bed at 10:30 and I could not fall asleep. This time it wasn't Andrew - it was my own mind that I could not shut off.  I got up with him at 12:30 and got him back down at 1:00. When he fussed a little J got up and checked him and settled him down.  At 3:30 he was up and after a short nursing session he was back down at 4:00. Up again at 6:30 and back down at 7:00.  All in all a little bit better of a night.

We got out of bed this morning around 10:00 and came downstairs.  J made a surprise stop home after his meeting downtown to get in a little baby time.  He got the first real smile out of Andrew and I seriously thought my heart might burst.  Seeing the look of pure joy on both of their faces made me the happiest person in the world.

First we had a little tummy time


and then we headed out for a walk. He did awesome and slept the whole time (after a successful diaper change in the car). I walked the bridge with him then we came home. He started fussing as I pulled into the neighborhood so I got him in the house, changed him, and let him eat.  I plopped him in the swing so I could shower and since he fell asleep in it I decided to try to get a nap in.  After about 15 minutes I heard him stirring, so I picked him up and cuddled him in bed with me and we rested for 2 hours.  Part of that time was spent with me just staring at his sweet face and smelling the sweet baby smell of his head.  I was in tears again, but this time due to sheer happiness.

Once he woke up we came downstairs and he was nursing when J got home from work.  And now my two favorite guys are taking a little snooze together on the couch as I sit here and write this. I can't help but smile as I watch them - I love them both so much.

3 comments:

  1. Don't worry Els sleeps in a bassinet next to me. I don't even want to move her into her crib in the next room. I'll miss her.

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  2. You're not screwing up! At 4 months Carina still sleeps in her swing next to our bed. She sleeps 10-12 hours that way and our pedi says it is fine for now :)

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  3. Thanks ladies! I just get so overwhelmed and nervous that I am not doing things right. This mommy stuff is hard!

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