Monday, March 12, 2012

The Finish Line is in Sight (but can we make it?)

Two weeks from today Andrew will be one year old.  :: cue the freakout from mommy ::

So two weeks from today we will have made it a whole year with breastfeeding.  We haven't been able to EBF since October when my body (and supply) were ravaged by the flu.  We did have to introduce some formula then, but he has been getting at least 75% breast milk every day (and sometimes more).  Most days the only formula he gets will be with his bedtime bottle. And some days even that bottle is only half formula.

Anyway, my point is that in two weeks we will start the transition.  I don't plan on stopping breastfeeding cold turkey.  I would still love to nurse him in the mornings and the evening, but I plan on cutting back and phasing out the pumping at work.  Words cannot adequately express how happy it will make me to not have to lug my pump into an empty office twice a day Monday through Friday and sit there being milked while entertaining myself with countless games of solitaire on my touchpad.  To say that I have come to detest pumping at work would be an understatement.  The day that I pack up that pump for the last time is going to be a glorious day.

But now I'm worrying that we won't make that one year mark.  I'm not quite sure what's going on, but my body seems to have quit on me overnight.  Just last week I was still getting around 5 ounces in the morning from the right side and around 5 ounces with my last pumping before bed.  I was getting 9-10 ounces from my pumpings at work (a huge decline from the 16-17 I was getting in our breastfeeding heyday).  Now it appears my boobs have crapped out.  Last night I struggled to get 3 ounces with the last pumping  and this morning I just barely got 3 ounces.  And last week I worked hard to get 6 ounces total every day with my work pumpings.  It's as if my body got it's two weeks notice and decided to haul ass right away instead of putting in the last two weeks.

"What do you mean there's no more milk???"


Obviously it won't be the end of the world if we can't make it to the 26th.  And it's not as if he's only ever had breast milk and it will kill me to give him formula for a couple weeks.  But we have come SO far and it will just be a real kick in the teeth (or should that be boob?) if we can't make it.

I'm not throwing in the towel.  I still brought my pump with me to work today and at 11:00 I will go and do my first pumping session as usual.   I still drank my god awful tea this morning and am sitting here drinking water like it's my job.  I'm crossing my fingers that my body with work with me and get us through these last two weeks.

I guess regardless of what happens I am proud of making it as far as we have.  It has been an amazing experience with lots of ups and downs.  If I am really honest with myself I can say that at this time last year I had a lot of doubts about making it a year.  I knew that I wanted to try, but I didn't really think it would happen.

So I'm giving myself a high five (but only in my head since my coworker might question my sanity if I start doing it for real) and crossing my fingers that there's just a little left in the tank. Wish us luck!


12 comments:

  1. Just a random thought...is AF around the corner? I had the same thing happen to me. I was pumping 15-17oz at work (pumping 3 times). Then it gradually went down to about 14oz. Last week I was barely getting 8oz for the whole day!!! Then...AF started. I will say that I've pumped 5oz so far for my first session today and last week I was lucky to get 3-4oz. Sooo....maybe that could be it and your body will turn around soon?? Either way...congrats on making it this far! I know I am counting down the days until I can leave the lovely "black bag" at home!!!

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    1. I'm not really sure - it could be. I haven't had any AF-like feelings, but it's been 20+ months since I've had it that I might not remember! I did just get 5 oz out of my first pumping at work so we'll see what happens the rest of the day.

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  2. so proud of you. My goal has now become 11 months:( 2 more days!

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    1. Thanks lady! I think we should both be proud of how far we've made it :)

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  3. Have you gotten your period back yet?

    My supply cuts in half the week before my period comes.

    Regardless you've done an amazing job!

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    1. No I haven't. I'm starting to wonder if it's coming and that's what is happening here. I guess I'll find out in a few days.

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  4. Same thing is happening to me! I used to have an oversupply problem and now I'm not pumping enough to cover his day... I'm happy to have made it this far (almost 11 months), but kind of bummed that we may not make it to 12! Good luck.

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  5. I also would guess your period is coming. blah. january i got my first one and my supply has tankkkkkeeed. but dude 2 weeks? YOU GOT THIS! ;)

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  6. First of all, good for you for making it this far! I bet if you are persistent you will make it through the last two weeks. I've only been pumping at work for two days and I already loathe taking my pump and all my supplies to work everyday. I can't imagine what it's going to feel like if we make it to the 1 year mark; which is my ultimate BFing goal. Kudos to you and Andrew!

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