Monday, January 24, 2011

Hormones and emotions and family - oh my

This morning I made a giant mistake. I voiced my concerns about the baby shower that a few friends are throwing for me to my mom.

I do NOT want to sound ungrateful. I am very happy that they are taking it upon themselves to host a shower.  I know the shower is a gift and I shouldn't say anything, but a few things are weighing on my mind.

Concern number one is that it is planned for March 19th. I will be 37 weeks along. I will probably be huge and uncomfortable. And I will be due in 3 weeks - not leaving us much time to nest and to buy all of the items that we will not be getting from the shower.

Concern number two is that the shower excludes J and many of our friends.  My friends decided that this would be a girls only event. That was not what I would have wanted had anyone checked with me.  This is his baby, too, and when one of my other friends asked me if he was upset about being left out he didn't really answer. But it looked to me like he is bummed. 

Also, I hate being the center of attention and I am not the girly girl who wants the frou frou baby shower with stupid games and a bunch of girls sitting around.  All of the baby showers I have been to recently have been co-ed and have been more of a celebration than a shower.  Including the shower that I helped to host for one of the hostesses of my upcoming shower. So she knows better.

I emailed this to my mom - again saying that I am very grateful that they offered to throw me a shower.

She responded by basically saying I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, that large showers are a ploy for gifts, and that she prefers smaller showers.

Ok, but this isn't YOUR shower.  And I get that back in the day when you were having kids you would have a little hen party with your tea and cookies and sit around and play silly baby games and be girly. That is not me!  The thought of a shower like that makes me sick.

And no, I don't want a large shower just so we can get a lot of gifts.  I have had many of our guy friends ask if someone is throwing a shower for us and they obviously planned on being invited.  I was looking forward to a low-key get together, maybe a lowcountry boil, with friends and family to celebrate the impending arrival of our little guy.

Instead, my mom decides to make me feel like shit.  I emailed her back and said "Forget I said anything" and for the time being I am avoiding reading her follow-up emails.

And the icing on the hormonal emotion cake - my sister (who is ridiculously irresponsible with money) bought 4 Super Bowl tickets and posted on FB how she is taking my parents and needs to decide who else to take.  My mom's response:  "You are the BEST DAUGHTER EVER!!!!!"  Wow - way to play favorites right out there in public for everyone to read, mom.  Especially all the people that know that you have two other daughters.  I guess I have to waste the equivalent of a down payment on a house to buy your affection, huh?

So that is where my emotions stand right now. God I hate Mondays....


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  2. i hate showers of all variety. it's too bad that your husband's friends couldn't plan something for him. or, since it will be nice about a month after baby, throw a meet the baby party and have a bbq and invite those people and have the get together you'd want. without the pressure of the HAVING to bring you gifts, but they probably will.